Paris Hilton (President)
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|Paris Slut Hilton|
|Date of birth||1994|
|Place of birth||Utah|
|Date of death||Near Future|
|Place of death||Pig and Whistle, Wandsworth, London|
|First Lady||Jessica Simpson divorced from Carmen Electra|
|Vice President||Mariah Carey|
|Prime Minister||Ran in 1965 election|
|Term of office||2030–2033|
|Preceded by||Lilo Pelekai|
|Political party||Socialist Workers Party|
Paris Hilton Best(Anything over Bush is a Win) president ever to rule the United States.
Paris won the election by a landslide, because it was either her or the wandering spirit of Anna Nicole Smith. Would you either have a non-existant fatass or a really old slut. Paris won all the red states and most of the blue states, and even some pink states. Anna won zero, and tragically died.
ha ha fat bitch
Paris was married to Carmen Electra at the time. They made a very sexy duo, I mean SEXY! Also they made hot lesbian love that night, and made more hot lesbian love. It was until Carmen Pinched Paris' nipple that she began to lactate so Carmen politely licked off all the milk. Then Paris gave her a long hot kiss and then she left. They got a divorce, (if you did not notice because you are a stupid dumbass)
Paris soon fell in love with 100 different people but soon she decided to start a long HOT sex relationship with Jessica Simpson. They met in a club, a place where Paris spends more time than in the white house. Paris saw her nice cleavage and decided to go and lick between her oh yeah baby yeah, you do that, oh oh oh, yeah right there, yeah, there jhfuwytkrytj, oops! sorry yeah ummm where was I? oh yeah boobs, and since Jessica is so stupid and did not know what she was doing she decided that it felt good so she let here keep doing it, until she was sexually aroused by it then they left to the white house. They were soon both
making love kissing and bitching everywhere and crying like ( bitches whoops! i mean penis suckers. HAHAHAHAHAABITTTCCCCCH. Soon to be pink house or "thats hot!" house) And there they had some real HOT! HOT! Lesbian sex, that lasted 12 days. Paris decided to have sex with different people but include jessica in everything, making it a three way or an orgy.
All Hell Breaks Loose
Paris launched a series of wars, that killed many people but, the united states annexed:
- Dominican Republic,
- Costa Rica,
- El Salvador,
- Jay Leno's Chin,
- Fidel Castro's Dick,
- Jamacia(only for Marajuna),
- Dick Cheney's Poop,
- Niger (Paris thought it was Nigger),
- Saint Lucia,
- Saint Kitts and Nevis,
- Saints Staduim,
- Tommy Lee's Face,
- United Kingdom(Big Mistake)
Ultimately the US fell into chaos and was not conquered by the Catholic Butt Corps towards the beginning of the JesusTron Wars. This erupted in faliure when an unforeseen American Insurgency fought off the Catholic Death Corps.
Paris was blamed for all of the dying and the very terrible JesusTron Wars, And the near collapse of America. Offcials were impeaching her. Until Paris Showed them her massive boob job. Suddenly all charges were dropped, and so was Paris' Bra, and Jessica Simpson's too.
"Thats Hot!" house
The White house was remodled into a gayass pink house that showed a softer side of America. Paris Called for a project that would make the White House, in her opinion. She wanted it to be hot pink! And it would the be called the "Thats Hot!" House. Instead of rebuliding America form the JesusTron Wars they rebuilt the White House into a pink Hell hole where it was turned into a club palace where Paris would just have sex with Jessica. They would love to kiss and massage each other with oil and rub it all over each others breasts. And french kiss each other and lick each others tongues.
One night Jessica came into the bed room to find a nude Paris lying there.
"Touch me," Paris said, "Make me feel alive."
"But daddy will be home soon," Jessica whined.
"Who cares?" Paris said as she buried her soaking vagina into Jessica's face,
Jessica, sensually and slowly licked the fluids off of Paris' vagina.
"Ohhh!" Paris Moaned With pleasure.
As Paris undid Jessica's Bra revealing her huge boobs.
Paris soon took off Jessica's short shorts/Daisy Dukes and humped her vagina against her vagaina.
"Yes! Yes! Oh Paris YESS!" Jessica screamed sensually
Paris put her mouth on Jessica's lips, Paris stuck her tongue in her mouth and jessica did the same as their tongues wresteled each other.
"Your the best bitch I have ever had sex with Jessica." Paris said as she headed down for Jessica's vagina.
"Thank you, you sexy whooohhhahh!" Jessica said with much pleasure as Paris licked her vagina slowly.
"Hey, Jessica?" said Paris softly.
"What?" replied Jessica.
"Give me a rim job." Paris siad with desire.
"What's that?" Jessica asked.
Suddenly LeAnn Cartman opened the door.
"Why, that's when you stick your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass." LeAnn Cartman said.
"Thanks, Ms. Cartman" said Jessica
"No problem, Hon." Ms. Cartman replied as she walked out of the room.
Then, Paris and Jessica made sweet love long into the night.
Paris Hilton raised hell so much the nation split into two. And the 2nd civil war began, it only lasted about a year but the casulty rate was over one billion Americans. While Paris was making love to Jessica the war raged on in the south. Thousands upon millions of american's, brothers, fathers, sons, cousins, fought against each other, but did paris care? Hell no she was pleasuring her wife and her wife was pleasuring her! Is that wrong of course not if you get two sexually atractive blonds and have them have sex with each other does it matter no!
Siege of Florida
Paris loved Florida so the only thing she cared about in the war was taking over florida! I mean there is Miami and Orlando and all other sorts of shit down there. So paris sent down a dispatch of 5,000,000 special forces soldiers against 2,000,000,000,000 southern rednecks. And luckily the USA sieged florida and bombed the hell out of it! Because those Southern bastards can't shoot for shit!
Reconstruction of the South
The south was siverly damaged so damaged the north had to go down and rebuild the damn place. Again! It was long and hard and the destruction was brutal but eventually it was rebuilt! It costed billions upon trillions upon zillions of dollars. And in a time of 9 months the south was partially rebuilt. But the Nation was left broke, and poor and it was headed for another great depression.
Hell On Earth
With all the money used on the reconstruction of the south the nation was broke and had no money. So Paris sent out the Military backed up with a wealthy Milita from rich providences and stole money from the middle and lower class familys making them all sub class familys. The Nation then spent all its money on perfume from France and dresses from London. The Nation was completely broke and they could get no more money. They could not go to war because most of the soldiers were dead. The poor were getting poorer and the riche were becoming poor. Crime was rampant and the Nation was going downhill fast. Paris called the United Nations for help, they took the rich and sent them to Canada while the nation ripped its self apart. Until Paris returned because Canada sucks ass! Paris did not know what to do so she just called her daddy for help, and so did Jessica. With Jessica and Paris haveing hot sex the nation was just getting poorer. But a soldier, suggested that the nation steal money from the other nation's secretly. And everyone embraced that idea but did not thank the Armed Forces.
Reconstruction of the Nation
The Nation rebuilt its self from stealing from other countries. The US was getting on top again and the nation was now a middle class nation and the population went down 90% because they were either killed in the World Domination,JesusTron Wars,Civil War or the Depression. The Economy was up like no other thanks to a...
Nation On Top
The Nation was on top and the economy was up too the population was riseing because people were so rich so they wanted to have sex! Paris was having sex with Jessica (this time in a hot tub) And everyone was almost happy, the nation's population was around 400,000. But with all that sex it tripled in the next nine months. Although later everybody realised that they would have to feed these little black holes of money so half of the nation killed the kids and became rich but the other half became poor and lost all signs of intelligence so basically just the normal USA.
The Great Martian War
The Nation was taking baby steps to becoming the world dominator again. The world was in reconstruction. But on another planet, they had their evil eyes as MARS ATTACKS! monsters invade the earth from space. The planet was laid to waste, the United States lead the Military backed up by a militia, to fight the martians the martians trampled over the humans as they harvested our bodies. This would lead into The Great Martian War. It was Until the Battle of Evilive, that the nation would fight back and beat the Martians and realize that they were defeatable. Until the world was nearly completely wasted Paris sent out a distress signal to Optimus Prime for help. Prime said "No you whore!" But then Prime thought about all the Autobot citizens on earth so he decided to lead a garrison of robot troops to earth to fight back the martian Invasion. Serctly Paris and Jessica formed a plan, a stupid one but hey, they are both blonde. They lead the martian king into the "that's hot" house and up into the now renavaed Ovel Office, ( now called " That's Sexy" Office) where Paris and Jessica had beautiful lesbian sex. The King was so horny that he soon joined in. That next day the martians left earth, so i guess the stupid plan was really smart. But Paris and Jessica did get alien aids which spread to the citizens because it mutated in their human bodys. So America still got screwed.
America has been wasted except for Jessica and Paris because they can withstand any sexual disease. With all of America to themselves they invited some hot French chicks to the abandoned country to have a huge lesbian orgy. America then became a lesbian country with horny guys going to Hawaii so they can use telescopes to look.