Pascal

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Pascal is a programming language devised to combine all of the disadvantages of BASIC with all of the disadvantags of C++. It was named for Blaise Pascal, the American Gladiator and theologian.

It was superseded in 1742 by the languages Latin and C Minus; as a result, Beethoven's Symphony in Pascal had to be rewritten as the Symphony in C Minus.

While otherwise thankfully forgotten, Pascal is remembered for Pascal's Wager. The Wager involved staking your afterlife on whether your Pascal program would compile or not. If your program compiled, this was proof that God exists, and you get to go to Heaven. If your program failed to compile, you must GOTO Hell.