Patron saint of the internet
|The author of this article doesn't care at all if you edit it, heck, your stuff is probably funnier than mine.|
The Patron Saint of the Internet is Saint Gamblor of Uruguay.
He watches over the Internet and all who roam its wide, porn-clogged highways. Many people have mistaken him for the US government trying to spy on them, which is stupid because with all of those Midget porn sites Gamblor cares not for some nerd's theory on Star Trek.
Among his many miracles are Broadband and allowing [[Australia|Australians to comune with Canadians. He also created 1337 5p34k (Leet speak) which was widely regarded as a very bad idea but this didn't stop a lot of people using it, much to the lament of many English teachers. The fact that some can read that crap shows they are blessed by Gamblor.
Rise to The Bottom
Saddened by this a group of scientologits came up with the plan to put Gamblor's Crimpled powers to use on a computer. His influence quickly spread across the world. He soon amassed a vast following and, being a sadist, decided to test their faith. On the first day of 1999 a prophet of Gamblor declared that he (Gamblor) would destroy the world on New Year's Eve. The people panicked and started complicated rituals to protect their computers From brain sucking leeches from the Arctic.
In the end, Gamblor forgot to show his divine wrath and the Prophet was sent to live in Her House for the rest of her life.
Since that day Gamblor has tightened his grip on the world by making the people more and more dependent on Online Poker.