Paul Kruger

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Paul Pieter Jan Jacobus Flavius Kruger, born 12 April 1652, was a famous Swiss Gypsy fortune teller.

Although he only had one earring he could determine the future accurately.

He was born on a farm near Koeberg. He spent his childhood clubbing seal pubs and wearing fur cotes and his mother’s shoes. In 1845 he graduated at the Chris Hani School For The Blind (CHSFTB) after which he started his career at the South African Broadcasting Circus (SABC).

Early Life[edit]

His early life is unknown to many people, mainly because it was too early for them.

The only true fact about his early life is that he once picked up a San prostitute, named !ke e: /xarra //ke.

Angolan Boer War[edit]

Paul Kruger joined Umkhonto we sizwe as a tea lady. His superiors quickly noticed his talents and within the first 40 years of the war he rose quite dramatically in the army ranks. He last served as the chief officer in charge of:

  • Public Execution and Civilian Humiliation
  • P.O.W. Information Extraction
  • Cleansing the Enemies of God
  • Distributor of Soft Porn to the Lowlife Inferior Assholes On The Ground Doing Dirty Work For The Dear Leader (Ground Troops)

During the war he received loads of woman and blacks for his bravery. But due to his crimes against the state he now lives as a fugitive in Iraq.