Pauly Shore

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Pauly Shore goofs around for the camera outside the gates of hell by making obscure gestures with one hand. LOL, you're a hoot, Pauly.

Pauly "Weasel" Shore (created 27 August, 1952) is an alien life form who was accidentally summoned from the Utah Biodome Experiment. It is a vivid comedian who makes excellent Jewish jokes about weasels while eating things. Pauly Shore often goes by the pseudonym "Paul Reubens". He is well-known for making the top-ten most annoying people on television list for fifteen years straight, a record matched only by Gilbert Gottfried.

Origins[edit]

One of Pauly Shores many reviews left at Newgrounds.com

Pauly Shore was inadvertently materialized in the Utah Biodome Experiment of One Feberurary, 1968, by Dr. William Atherton. This experiment was widely regarded as an unmitigated disaster and a shame to the entire decade, so scientists hid the event in the future. Upon its re-discovery in 1990, Pauly Shore had all the rights of a human, thanks to the Illegal Alien-and-Negro Rights Act of 1975. Being an inhuman, bulbous alien sliming through the streets of Hollywood with no useful talents and lacking any social talents, Pauly Shore was naturally offered a $1,750,000 contract by MTV, where it hosted a wildly popular talk show called "Pee-wee's Playhouse". In 1996, Orlando Bloom created a box-office smash documentary about the Utah Biodome Experiment, culturally defining the last decade of the second millenium.

Pauly Shore Facts[edit]

  • Pauly Shore is blue and shiny.
  • Pauly shore is clinically retarded.
  • Pauly Shore is credited for ending WWII by making everyone kill themselves.
  • In 1997, the United States Supreme Court made it illegal for Pauly Shore to reproduce, this prompted 3.2 Billion Women to feel insulted by the fact that this was considered a possibility.
  • A fat black woman once turned Pauly down for sex...even though he was offering to baste her in pigs feet lard!
  • Pauly Shore is made fun of by every human being in existance, even if they don't realize they are doing it. One of the most prominant people to make fun of Pauly Shore is Weird Al Yancovic.

Contributions to humanity[edit]

  • Pauly Shore died in 2003. This event is critically acclaimed as its crowning achievement.
  • In 1991, Pauly Shore was arrested in Samasota, Florida (then a province of Cuba) for oozing in a theatre. The mainstream media exploded into millions of tiny gooey pieces, and CBS responded swiftly by destroying all evidence of Cuba.
  • Pauly Shore nearly destroyed TV in 1997, after a nasty bout with sex addiction, when it transformed itself into a yawning black-hole portal to Hell in a bizarre process known only as the FOX Network. It absorbed nearly 4,500,000 googles of humor from the earth before having a violent allergic reaction to humour ingested from BBC. In 2000, Pauly Shore publicly apologized for the catastrophe, upon accepting the Gilded Boysenberry Award for its performance.
  • In 2002, Pauly Shore's grotesque, writhing, sweaty, naked alien body was found in its home in Canadia, burrowing through nearly four million drawings, paintings, daguerrotypes, lithographs, and photographs of 18th- and 19th-century child pr0n that it normally kept hidden in a cookie jar in its kitchen. Pauly Shore was promptly arrested, but after explaining it was actually a collector of child pr0n, it was released back into the wild. However, it is rumored that nearly half of the collection was personally confiscated by The Pope.

Unconfirmed rumor[edit]

There has been a recent rumor that Pauly Shore has actually reincarnated as surprise-ending horror documentarian M. Night Shyamalan.[1] This is probably entirely false, and has absolutely no right to be included in this Uncyclopedia article.

See also[edit]