Pay-to-win games

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Sums up every single one of them.

“I can beat 99.9% of them without spending a cent. Wait, i am the god of gaming! I will give myself infinite resources!”

~ AAA on Pay-to-win games

Pay-to-Win games are a form of "game" that can't be called a game, but in fact a type of scam to be welcomed with open hands by the world. It is generally when a game deducts your sanity, IQ, EQ and humanity to negative by asking you to pay for them, in which you will get absolutely nothing rewarding other than a few more kilobytes in your computer being occupied by nonexistent stuff, such as fish that you can't eat or girls that you didn't even own. They are the top causes of faggotry in gaming, the others being fanboys and GamerGate-esque scandals. They are also guaranteed to cause the Gamingpocalypse 1 to 10 years later. Do your math and stop selling your soul and sanity to faggotry.

Overview[edit]

File:Extremepaytowinfaggotry.jpg
An extreme case of pay to win faggotry

At the dawn of gaming games are only for fun and you simply buy the game, have a console, and everything's yours. This has been continuing for at least 10 years. However, As you can see the world is going to crumble in the hands of the New World Order and the internet by Faggotry such as Bronies or Furfags, You can clearly see the gaming industry is going to crumble like everything else. And just like the rest of the world, when it crumbles it won't do it well. And this is how it happened; One day an alcoholic decided that having a game free to play then scam you out of your money via bullshit excuses will revolutionize the gaming industry and he will be treated as a world hero. In fact, he indeed revolutionized the gaming industry, but in a way that no sane person will ever dare to play a game. EVER. Because right now at least 80% of mobile apps are pay to win scams and you will become insane just by playing one of them for 3 days.

Types of scams[edit]

Pay-to-win games are infamous for their "Creative" scam methods, all with only 1 purpose; to wipe your sanity and humanity away and you will be locked in a mental asylum. Or simply have the urge to rule 34 literally anything you see. Either way, they win and you lose.

  • Premium Currencies: As a pay-to-win game won't be insane enough to request real money every time for their flagrant bullshit, They need a "Hidden Currency" to hide their intentions on their Sick-Fuckery. This is where it comes in handy. You will literally need it every time, from lotteries for non-existent bullshit to purchasing different stuff among the game, and you will have absolutely no way to get it aside of paying money. Maybe a few will be given to you free, but it's so few that it realms to the realm of pennies. Usually when it comes to lottery using these "Currencies", (MORE LIKE FAGGOTRY, AM I RIGHT??????) 99% that you will get nothing other than your sanity whipped away like whipped cream.
  • Impossible Gameplay: Gameplay is literally impossible unless you pay. In fact it's so impossible that possibly the developers scammers possibly never tested it out. In fact even if you pay it is impossible, but it's only 3 seconds versus 1 day of quitting.
  • Reward Removal: Your rewards will not be saved until completing the level. This means that you do get rewards after beating an enemy, but when you lose or leave the area, You get nothing but sawdust Absolutely nothing and you can go eat sawdust. Also this includes your entry restriction which may take 30 minutes to 4 hours to recover which removes your humanity, but we will talk upon this later. And since nearly every one of the enemies have an ability to KO you 99% right at the start, There is no way that your rewards don't get removed and your sanity or $1 will be wiped away from your life. Then as you fail you pay, until you get that thing, by the way that you should die anyway. It is strongly recommended that you wipe your sanity away as sanity can be relived. Your $1 can't. And sometimes the game crashes for absolutely no reason or teleports you into an odd screen once you think that you had done your job and when this happen it reverses your EQ and IQ to Negative.
Typical person with their sanity wiped away by Pay-to-win faggotry.
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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Pay-to-win games.
  • Entry Restrictions: This is when the game prohibits you from even entering a level when your "Stamina Bar" "Life Points" and whatever excuse they make to do so. Usually you will have to wait for at least 30 minutes to 100 minutes plus in order to get that bar back to full. And the only way to get them full in an instant is to...well, you know what. PAY YOUR MONEY AND SANITY TO US They basically did this in order to wipe away your humanity so you can fap to rule 34.
  • Other minor excuses: These include "Broken Rod", " rampaging creature", "Sick Horse" or whatever way excuses they like to scam your money. These excuses are as vague as the reason why people participate in the Euromaidan, Occupy Central or the Ferguson Riots and can be safely ignored by uninstalling your game.
  • The most extreme case: Just pay to win instead of enjoying the progress of the game. What sane person would do that?

When it becomes extreme[edit]

When it becomes extreme, the Gamingpocalypse triggers. Or maybe Like this or This. Or maybe we will get another Bubsy 3D or Sonic 2006. Either way, this won't end up well for you. Or anyone else.

Prevention[edit]

  • Don't stumble in blind: The reviews on the internet are your best friend against subhuman enemies. Maybe they are bronies themselves but it doesen't matter.
  • Don't be fooled by app reviews, top grossing or whatever: Top grossing games can 99% be supernatural horrors that nobody has ever seen in their life, and App reviews can be faked just like the fake adblock plus app last thursday.
  • Look at the game's in-app purchases: Check the game description for stuff like "Gems", "Coins", "Magic Stones" or whatever excuse they made to wipe your soul and sanity away. Anything that is purchased via real money directly is 80% going to be optional and you can buy it for the sake of completion. And if the game's most popular purchases are AD removal tools, it's most likely AD-supported and if it has both ADs and in-app purchases, a Jewfag has been detected and it's most likely not human.
  • LOOK AT THE DEVELOPER: Anything made by King.Com, EA, GungHo, or whatever you know of in basically everywhere are consisted of nothing aside of jews and money and are threatening to wipe your sanity, EQ and IQ away so you will fall for the Gamingpocalypse. This is the most important part and anyone who denies this is just like the jews in World war II.

See also[edit]