Penis mutilation

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“Ouch!!!”

“It hurt less than the foot!”

~ Kunta Kinte

Penis Mutilation was first realized in the early 19th century to combat the spread of the flu. While not quite eradicating the flu, the pleasurable experience of penis mutilation were brought forth in the lab of a German-born scientist, Wilhelm Von Wilhelm III.

Initially, Wilhelm wanted to test his penis mutilation techniques on his dog, but since he had no dog, he used small furry creatures. Eventually, this pastime became his trade and so, Wilhelm made a fortune from mutilating penises and charging sixpence a go.


Penis mutilation does not make penises longer, in general. As such, writing more about penis mutliation will only make this article long and not your penis.

It does, however, make your penis look larger, and will also serve to drive away predators in the Amazon Rainforest.

However, when you are put in the situation of facing a penis-related analysis, beware of doctors whose names start with Ciomu.

Types of mutilation[edit]

There are many types of mutilation first let's start with transformation.

  • Turning it into large, pixilated flesh-colored blocks.
  • Turning it into a black bar.
  • Turning it into a red bar that says "Censored"
  • Turning it into Optimus Prime, the King of the Jews and master of your mom