Pennywise the Clown

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Pennywise the dancing clown is a well-known mass-murderer and pedophile.Pennywise change his name from Dollarwise the dancing clown after he was robbed of his life savings. For a long time, he dwelled in a sewer and molested and ate mice and balloons until he was defeated in a presidential election, and settled on handing out balloons at Neverland Ranch. After that, he changed his employment several times more before finally settling on being a Catholic priest.

pennywise the clown is stuck in the 80's. He still dances the "Vogue" at parties.

New life shines: Our mum the Clown[edit]

"That's how we roll in Jersey."

Pennychunk the clown was crapped out by Hulk Hogan when Hulk was extremely drunk after losing an arm wrestling match. Hogan didn't notice that he had just pooped out a baby, a baby clown at that, and he proceeded to flush young Pennywise down the toilet. He spent much of his life as a fag, until he turned 18, when was adopted by a 90-year old goat that shared a striking resemblance to Robin Williams. He was a very disturbed individual who made a habit out of biting the penises off of his dentists and making penis soup out of them later. The 90-year old woman sexually assaulted him frequently, until one day he became fed up and ate her bottom half. By that time the woman had learned her lesson and changed her ways for the ten minutes she was still alive. He wanted to get revenge on the world for messing up his life. He declared he'd become the most powerful pedophile/demon/superstar/garth brooks of all time and terrify the masses for years to come. He kept his promise.

Pennywise's brother, Nickleback the Mime/secret agent, is one of the most notorious cockroach molesters in all of Europe.

First Blood[edit]

Before becoming a pervert, Pennywise first wanted to assassinate President Kennedy. Why? Because he ran against him in the election. He ran for the Republican nomination, and received four and three quarter votes, all of them from sewer rats one of which he had raped during his childhood. He was rattled by this loss, so, in a fit of depression, he tried to rape a little boy but ended up raping Shaquil O'Neil by mistake. So, to try and soothe his shattered spirit, he then bought a nice, sunny ranch in California he named "Nevertanned Ranch" for the sole reason that he could not change his skin color from white. He gradually regained his confidence, and soon the terrorizing began.

Pennywise is seen here in one of his favorite places: the drain of the men's shower room.


All of these events were part of a master plan of Pennywise. He reincarnated himself, this time letting himself by crapped out of Sylvester Stallone. Pennywise was resurrected as an evil demon clown and returned to the sewers of his youth, and began to terrorize little children once more. But soon, he became restless with his life in the sewer. He took a part-time job working for Karl Rove, and after that job fell apart, he began searching for "a new life."

Pennywise becomes a Christian Fundamentalist[edit]

Jhon Seen-Uh will play turn as into Pennywise in the next It film.

Shortly after quitting his job for Rove, Pennywise "came to the light of Jesus." He had experienced a religious revelation, and immediately sought a position as a priest. He became one almost immediately, and was hailed by the church as "one of the best preachers we've ever had." He hoped to become Pope, but he failed to be nominated. Today, he remains one of the most prominent figures in the Catholic Church. He claims to have quit molesting children for good, although many believe this is bullshit.

Pennywis'es extended family[edit]

Scholars claim Pennywise may not, in fact, be related to Hulk Hogan, but instead be a zit that the Incredible Hulk popped after being licked by the Sith Lord Kefka. Many point out the similarities between Pennywise and Kefka, and Hulk and Kefka's love child is close to being completely proven to the public. oh yeah if you read this then you are a FAG!!!!!! just like this FAG CLOWN.Pennywise, after sucking Michael Jackson's dick became a Country music singer.

See also[edit]