Pesticide

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Pesticide (from Latin pestum caedere, to kill a pest) is the act of killing an insect with a firearm, nuke, oil spill, apocolypse, machete or with one's bare hands.

Legal aspects of pesticide[edit]

In some nations, such as Belgium or Kazakstan, pesticide is not per se a crime in the legal sense, but the practice generally carries a considerable social stigma, and the perpetrator is expected to compensate the pest's family by becoming their personal slave for the rest of his life.

Insect counter-threats[edit]

There are lots of pesticides that can harm, kill or even burn incects abd they are not very good it is actualy very bad do not use pesticides unless you like to eat them save our plant !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Insects have found many ingenious ways to counter the threat from humans. The most well known is the Butterfly effect, discovered by Ashton Kutcher in 1557 and first proposed as a potential doomsday weapon in 1940 by a team of Monarch butterflies at MITE. By flapping their wings in a precise and well-defined pattern, a trained SWAT team of butterflies is able to provoke many different kinds of effects at their location's exact antipode, including hailstorms, drizzle, the smell of burning polyurethane, chemtrails, local blackouts, and catastrophes of various unspecified but invariably catastrophic types. To date, no major butterfly-induced catastrophes are believed to have been unleashed on populated areas, but meteorologists have reported anomalous storms in the Pacific and Indian Ocean that may have been secret tests of new Butterfly technology. Other methods include hiding underwater with a blow dart tube and waiting for the target to come in range while breathing through the tube and destroying the target.

Pesticide in religion[edit]

Christianity[edit]

"Thou shalt not smite the bug that bites your hand." [Ex. 20:17]

Modern research indicates that this line may have been misheard by Moses and that God originally had intended to protect unruly toddlers with ADHD, and several reform churches have in fact banned the outright killing of such low, messy, loud and spoiled life forms up to the age of five. Pesticide nevertheless remains one of the axiomatic taboos of the Christian church, and the factual basis for this taboo is rarely questioned, even by atheists.

Judaism[edit]

Although classical Jewish literature indicates that pesticide was permitted, the various segments of Judaism have now outlawed the practice. Predominantly Jewish insects, such as weevils, have formed influential pressure groups to make pesticide a capital offence.

Hinduism[edit]

In Hinduism, pesticide was practiced in ancient times. Hinduism does not prohibit pesticide but does not exactly encourage it either. Historically, only kings, in practice, had the privilege to commit pesticide. For example, the emperor Krushemundayafeet had a golden flyswatter with which he, according to tradition, had killed several flies. In modern times, pesticide is prohibited under Indian law. Very frequently, traffic jams are the result of a lazy bug laying down mindlessly in the street. About 49,000 people have died of non-pesticide related rickshaw crashes.

Pesticidal maniacs[edit]

Through the acts of pesticidal maniacs, on average six species of insect become extinct every day. Because this generally occurs in tropical rain forests, they tend to go unprosecuted, and the 21st century has only seen a handful brought to justice.

Pesticidal maniacs in history:

Jack the Swatter, Ted Kackroszky, Bugsy Malone

Software debugging[edit]

Due to its pesticide connotations, debugging of software is a task that is looked down on with disdain in the West. It is generally delegated to the lowest of the lowest in society or to Indian labour.

See also[edit]

  • Shooting a fly with a cannon
  • Going Mad Max on flies