Pete Best

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Sgt. Peter's Lonely Hearts Club Best

Sir Pete Best, commonly known as the Best Beatle and the Fifth Beatle (though he himself maintained he was the First Beatle, while John, Paul and George were the other The Beatles; and Ringo was the Shittiest Beatle) from 1960 to 1962. After being expelled from the band because he was too popular, he quickly established himself as their arch-nemesis, constantly mocking, humiliating, and besting them. Especially Ringo. He went on to enjoy a hugely succesful career, achieving critical and commercial acclaim on both sides of, as well as in, the Atlantic, winning the prestigious Blue Riband on four occasions, before striking a Plastic Ono fnord and sinking near the Mull of Kyntire.

Musical career[edit]

At first Pete tried to equal the Beatle's success by forming his own band. He figured that he was the hottest musical free agent of all time, so he should capitalize on it. Unfortunately, his backing band left much to be desired. For example, the bass player was the corpse of Stuart Sutcliffe propped up on a couple of sticks. Public interest dwindled, and poor Pete was reduced to releasing a mocking version of all the Beatle's new releases.

  • Pete Not For Sale (Because I'm Not A Fucking Sell-Out Like You Pricks)
  • Pete's Garden in the Shade
  • Sergeant Peter's Stabbed In The back Band
  • With No Help At All From My Friends
  • Magical Mystery Thieves
  • Yellow Snubmarine
  • Please Please Pete
  • I am the Walrus!


Best's first success. The title track reached #403 in Albania: