Peter Mansbridge

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Peter Mansbridge
His Holiness Peter Mansbridge
Born July 1st, 1844 in A small shack in Canada
Full Name Petericus John Jamal Warner Mansbridge
Spouse Cynthia Dale Gribble
Position: Grand Poobah

Peter Mansbridge (1844-Present) is a Canadian-born news anchor and popular emu rancher. He is the long-lost brother of popular freaks Wolverine and Sabertooth. Peter is most well-known for his work at the CBC in defending its offices form an outbreak of Ben Mulroney.


Early Life[edit]

Mansbridge grew up on his family farm in Alberta, Ontario. After his two brothers left to join the circus in 1859, he was left to tend to his family's emu business and earn enough money to send his parents to Disneyland, where they hoped to fulfill their dreams of finally getting revenge on Donald Duck for stealing their two sons. By 1866, Mansbridge's two parents were on a camel train to California, and Peter was left with 42 metric dollars and the two remaining emus, Sonny and Cher. For twelve weeks, Peter set out withh Sonny and Cher to try and find work. He had heard of a legendary city called Toronto where one could get four pounds of potatoes for the price of three. In one of Mansbridge's darkest moments, he sold his two feathered companions for a sandwich and twelve powerups. Although he had sold out his friends, Peter managed to use his earnings to get a job at the CBC. He befriended a young Don Cherry and Wendy Mesley, who became lifelong friends. At the first grand banquet, Don, Peter, and Wendy were all placed in Gryffindor by the great sorting touque, and from there on, their lives would be intertwined forever.

Work at the CBC[edit]

Peter Mansbridge, along with his colleagues, thrived at the CBC. There they gained their superpowers and befriended the lovable groundskeeper and manbeaver Dobbsy. After five years of covering the Canadian ice shortage of the 1920s, a large period of Ben Mulroney broke out and filled the halls of the CBC.

Peter Mansbridge, Wendy Mesley, and Don Cherry at their first year working for the CBC

Peter, Don, and Wendy were forced to battle for twelve years straight trying to fight off the Mulroney. After this conflict, Don noticed the obvious romantic tension between Peter and Wendy. Don decided to split before it got awkward.


Within his first weeks at the CBC, Peter Mansbridge had began to realise that he was not like other news anchors, not even like his friends Wendy and Don. Peter gained the skills being taught to him at a rate 25 times faster than the average anchor.


The first power Peter gained was flight. Using his skills at herding emu, Mansbridge quickly learned to heat up his scalp and use his heat to float above other flyers in his classes. Because, all good emu ranchers know, heat rises.

Laser Scalp[edit]

While heating his scalp for another day of flying, Mansbridge walked in front of a crystal door. The heat from his head shot through the crystal, and, perhaps through sheer will power, created a laser beam at the other end. Sadly, this burned off Peter's prized mullet, but also taught him a new superpower. He soon had a crystal duct taped to his now larger than ever forehead, and practiced every day at a chargin' his lazurrrr.