Petey Piranha
“..Wow.”
“This creature is a Piranha Plant with legs and wings.”
“Really? I don't see it.”
Petey Piranha is a giant Piranha Plant that has polka-dotted briefs and leafs for arms. He uses them to fly, cook, and create Wind Blasts that Mario can avoid by standing still. He is somehow friends with King Boo, the ruler of all Boos. This is because they did a cookery show together. However, this friendship bittered somewhat during the events of New Super Mario Bros..
Contents
Early Life[edit]
He was born in the warm summer of '02 after Super Smash Bros. Cast beat Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand weakened from this limped over to a baby piranha seed which he puked on before getting arrested. Soon after Petey was born and started chaos by puking all over things. He then raised the money from his suprisingly tasty goop and sold it to the Piantas from Super Mario Sunshine in exchange for a house on top of a windmill. However, when the Piantas found out that Piranha Plants crap and vomit from the same hole, they went apeshit, enlisiting Mario's help to clean off the sticky muck.
Family[edit]
Crazy Hand is Petey's father and mother. Petey never grew up knowing his parents until Crazy Hand was let out of an Asylum and they crossed pathes at a puking contest where Petey would have lost if Crazy Hand was fed anything before the contest. Petey is a living wonder in the fact that he is 100,000,000,000 times better than his parents, not even an achievement Chuck Norris could get.
Powers[edit]
Being son of a super natural creature Petey has multiple powers and it seems he gets a new one every time he appears. None of these are related to being a giant enemy plant. It is widely believed that Chuck Norris and Captain Falcon taught him the powers of God. Hell, look at the damn thing.
- Flight
- Puking
- Dancing(He calls it the Petey)
- Death Tornadoes
- A hidden Death Ray (He won't say where)
- Cannonballing
- Singing
- Prank Calls
- Being God of Plant life
The Piranha Mafia[edit]
Soon after he started his business he gathered with his childhood friends and started a gang. The gang was instantly feared on the eastside after the Brooklyn Disaster of '04 where they left no man alive.
He states "This was only the beginning".
Waluigi is currently second in command.
Right now he and the Queen's Ghoul's are allied to take down any plumbers and janitors in the area.
People and Things He Likes[edit]
- King Boo
- Waluigi
- Plants and Flowers
- Meat
- Adam West
- Monkeys
- Ronald McDonald
- Speedos
- Your Mom
- Cookies
- Crazy and Master Hand
- Rly O's but he hate's O Rly
- Jesus Christ (He is only faking it to kill him one day)
- Captain Jack Sparrow (or as you know his codename Johhny Depp)
- Mudkips
- Shy Guy
- Snifit
People and Things He Hates[edit]
- Mario
- Bowser
- The Mario (The dance)
- Fire
- Water
- Chuck Norris (After he taught Petey his powers he instantly betrayed Chuck with a Roundhouse Leaf to the face.)
- Salads
- Bush
- Mickey Mouse
- Computers
- Plumbers
- Petey Haters (You know who you are)
- Daisy
- You
Petey For President[edit]
He wants a better america one where he will find weapons of mass destruction. Although he wants to find them it will require him being King. He is currently the top 2008 Presidential nominee for the Green Party.
Things Petey Has Done in his Life[edit]
- Your Mom
- Singing
- Dancing
- Racing
- Acting
- Regional Yo' Momma Championship
- Teaching
- Ruling a Kingdom
- throwing up
- Became a 1337 ub3r H4XX0R
- Killed the dinosaurs
- Constructed the hanging gardens of Babylon
- Giving birth to Zetsu
Controversy[edit]
Being the lead star in the hit childrens show Lazy Town, he has been branded an international pedophile. If he were to be caught, he'd rape 984574658746875865489675489675468896 children; the y representing multiplication. This does not stop him from being awesome, however. Children want to be raped by him.
Dating Life[edit]
Petey has often been rejected by women for having an abnormally large arse, but he has been romatically linked to Ellen Degeneres. He tried to rape Zelda and Peach, but Kirby somehow killed his ass. Obviously he was regenerated 666 minutes later, then proceded to eat, shit out, then eat Kirby again.
See Also[edit]
| SUPER MARIO TEMPLATE | ||
| Protagonists | Mario • Princess Peach • Toad |  |
| Antagonists | Donkey Kong • Goomba • Wario | |
| Luigis | Gay Luigi • Mama Luigi (Luigi's sojourn • Magic balloon) • Weegee | |
| Locations | Mushroom Kingdom • Another Castle® • Yoshi's Park | |
| Games | Mario Party • Super Mario Brothers • Super Mario World | |
| Whatnot | Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart) • Magic mushroom • Mariology • Raccoon Tail v. Super Mario Cape • The Mushroom Kingdom (band) | |
| The Conclave of Doom: Fred Phelps, Ed Gein, Enron, Evil Jesus, Wikia, The United States of Arabia, Iran, |
Space Committee: Marshall Applewhite, L. Ron Hubbard, Robotic ghost pirates |
| Music/Theatre Committee: Abu Hamza, Ke$ha, The Jonas Brothers | Politics Committee: Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Chairman Mao, Kim Jong-il, Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Bill O'Reilly, "Ileana" Ross Lehtinen, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Richard M. Nixon |
| See also: Baby Seals, Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition |
