Peugeot

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Peugeot (pronounced Piece of french shit), is a French manufacturer of automobiles (Such as the 205) and sexual devices. Founded in 1885, by Auguste Peugeot, noted stunt balloonist and cart wheel builder. Combining his two areas of expertise, Peugeot invented the inflatable tire, which was subsequently utilized on that newfangled horseless carriage. He also invented the rubber-based condom, which became an immediate sensation among the bitter yet fertile French population. After 17 years of preliminary research, Peugeot created his first automobile. Six years later, he sold it. And it's been going gangbusters ever since. Peugeots are normally driven by French people.


Peugeot UK[edit]

Despite being a profitable part of the Peugeot Empire, the French in their infinite wisdom decided in April 2006 to close manufacturing in the UK, so as to satisfy their lust & greed for greater profits. This obviously came as a shock to the UK unions who for many years have considered private enterprise merely a theory. On hearing that the reason for closing the plant was to increase profits Hilary Gravelthroat of the Status Quo Workers Union (SQWU) is quoted as saying, "Make more money? Well I never..."

It appears that it costs £300 per car on average more to make a car in the UK rather than Paris (where a peasant labour force who strike a lot, do the work on the cheap despite their supposed workers might). A survey prior to closure confirmed that 136% of UK car buyers would rather save £300 on the price of a new Peugeot and let the French build them.

However like most car manufacturers, the work will eventually go to Eastern Europe or China, so the French will have to surrender up the work in the next few years (good job they know how to surrender).This car is officially endorsed by peasents in Europe!

Peugeot surpass all other car manufacturers with their attitude to customer care, with Peugeot the customer comes first. To ensure that this is always the case Peugeot only utilise the best out sourced call centres. As of March 2010 Peugeot moved their customer contact centre from a Birmingham site, due to "the high educational standard of the staff", to a centre in Kent that specialise in employing "monkeys" that can be paid "peanuts". A company spokesperson, Whinny Bitchion, stated that “…we need Peugeot customers to be able to discuss their problems with agents of equal intellectual ability, they’ve bought a Peugeot after all.”

Peugeot in the US[edit]

Yes, they were there too with their broken down 405s, 404s, 504s, 505s, 604s and any other three number combination that they could think of. However in a moment of drunken exuberance (back in the dark, early days of the 1990s), they realized that no one actually BOUGHT their cars so they packed their bags and left, saying in the snootiest French accent possible: "We are leaving and taking our hockey puck with us." To this day, linguists the world over are still left pondering this final elegy.

Stinking French Management[edit]

Onions & Garlic, frogs legs, cheap red wine, no wonder the French smell. Peugeot's French management are clearly up their with the rest of the population. Peugeot must now not be bought by any non French people. You, yes You reading this, it is your duty to advise everyone you know, come into contact with, and all passers by for a year, that Peugeot cars are no longer an option. You may only buy a Peugeot if you cannot source a British designed, built and owned alternative. For your convieniance we have included a link to the largest such British company now that TVR are Russian/closed. Failure to do this will result in a visit from The Axis Of Swivel. You have been warned.