Pineis Wainc

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An official promotional image for the programme
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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Pineis Wainc.

Pínéis Wainc is a fictional cartoon character, who starred in his own prime time children's television programme on the TG4 Irish language channel, which broadcasts throughout Ireland. The programme was controversially cancelled on November 5th 2005 due to governmental pressure. The series was revived on the big screen in 2006 with the release of Pínéis Wainc - The Movie. A second live action movie is currently in production.

History[edit]

  • 1990: Tomás Bate first conceived the idea of the Pínéis Wainc character while watching his favorite 'film'
  • 1991: Bate asked a friend to create a concept sketch of the character based on Mr. Bate's fantasy. Bate added the image to his personal collection at home. It is currently unknown what use Bate had for the image during this period.
  • November 1994: Wainc did not surface again until three years later when Firm Stroke Media (FSM) announced a competition to design a character around which a the production company's new children's television series would be based. Despite the competition being strictly aimed at children between the ages of 5 and 12, Mr. Bate submitted the image of Wainc using the name of his nephew, Finín Truailliú.
  • January 1995: Bate received notification that Pínéis Wainc had been chosen as the character the FSM wished to develop. Mister Bate was asked for any ideas he wished to contribute to the story. It has never been revealed what ideas Mr. Bate submitted, however it is known that FSM concluded that they were too explicit for the age group at which the program was aimed.
  • September 1995: Following the announcement of the launch of a new Irish language based television channel, Teilifís na Gaeilge (TnaG, now known as TG4), FSM signed a contract giving the channel the rights to the Pínéis Wainc franchise and committed themselves to supplying the first series of the program for the channel’s launch on the 31st October of the following year.
  • 1996: FSM spent the year developing the program and animating the fifteen episodes of the first serie
  • 31st October 1996: The TG4 station was launched, however audience figures were unprecedentedly low. Despite the series being as yet unfinished it was decided to begin broadcasting the series in a bid to draw a bigger audience in to the station.
  • 25th November 1996: The first episode of the series was broadcast. Huge hype was created in the run up to the series' launch, the program being discussed amongst the public on such programs as, 'Joe Duffy's LiveLine', 'The Adrian Kennedy Phone Show' and 'Eurotrash'. Due to the massive fanfare around the event, the day, being exactly a month before Christmas Day, was dubbed Pínéis Day or P-Day.
  • 1997: By early in the following year Wainc had garnered a huge fanbase. The program had firmly established itself on the TG4 station and was single-handedly responsible for turning around TG4's success on the Irish airwaves.
  • November 25th 1997: The second series of Pínéis Wainc was dubuted on TG4 on the first anniversary of Pínéis Day, and so establishing a tradition that was to continue to the most recent series of the program that a series always premiered on Pínéis Day (P-Day '96: Series 1,P-Day '97: Series 2, P-Day '99: Series 3, P-Day '01: Series 4, P-Day '03: Series 5, P-Day '05?: Series 6)
  • 1998: The Wainc phenomenon continued to grow, reaching levels not experienced by any other program in Irish history. The year saw the release of various Pínéis Wainc memorabilia and the first series' release on Red Light District VHS.
  • Christmas 1998: The Pínéis Wainc action figure became the best selling item for the Christmas of 1998, beating off competition from Furbies, Teletubbies and the PlayStation (which was at its peak of sales at the time).
  • 1999: Pínéis Wainc embarked on a music career, releasing his controversial debut album, 'Ag Truailliú Mé Féin', which shot instantly to the number one position, where it remained for a record 15 weeks, before it was knocked off due to huge governmental criticism, Minister for Children Brian Cowen, in particular, condemned the album publicly.
  • November 25th 1999: The Wainc phenomenon was further bolstered by the release of the third series of the program. It was the first series to delve deeper into the Pínéis Wainc lore and introduce various characters, who have now become household names, such as Faigín Fallópach, Seif and the Clam Media.
  • Christmas 1999: Once again trouncing the 'competition' posed by Pokémon and the Game Boy Color, Pínéis took Christmas 1999 by storm with the release of the second series on VHS and the new DVD format, a trading card game and the best-selling toy of 1999, the Super Seif Vaccine Maker which allowed children create their own vaccines using ice-cream, chocolate sprinkles and human genome to protect themselvesthe for Seif's evil powers.
  • 2000: The Pínéis Wainc trading card game became such a phenomenon amongst youth that the cards were banned completely from schools due to to class disruption and incidences of bullying due to colllectors having a smaller Pínéis collection.
  • November 25th 2000: Pínéis Day '00 marked the release of the Pínéis Trilogy Box Set on VHS and DVD, a collection of all three series with a sneak preview of the fourth series due for release the following year.
  • Christmas 2000: For the third year in a row Christmas was dominated by Wainc. This year's bestsellers were two Pínéis Wainc Game Boy Color games, Pínéis Wainc White Version and Pínéis Wainc Translucent Version which knocked the hugely popular Pokémon games, Gold Version and Silver Version off the number one spot.
  • 2001: Despite massive condemnation of his debut album among the government and parental lobbyists, Wainc contiued his music career with the release of a second album 'Is Fearr Dhá Lámh a Úsáid'. The album would have inevitably exceeded its predecessor's 15 week record at the number one spot on the charts had it not lost its contract and with record company Tara Records and removed from the market, due to a controversial appearance at the MTVIreland Awards 2001.
  • November 25th 2001: The dent caused by Pínéis' music career's premature death in his reputation was short-lived, however, as the long awaited fourth Pínéis Wainc series launched on Pínéis Day '01. It once again met criticism for depicting Pínéis performing his Kango-Hammer move while wearing his Mighty Helmet as children were succeptible to interpret this in such a way that they would attempt to perform a shaking action while cycling a bicycle.
  • Christmas 2001: The now traditional occurrence of Pínéis Wainc momorabilia dominating Christmas sales continued in 2001. Wainc's Christmas offerings included the the first Wainc novel, Pínéis Wainc and the Philosopher's Bone and further additions to the Pínéis Wainc action figure line, including the huge sales success, the Deluxe Vibrating Pínéis Wainc action figure which imitated the battle attack Wainc uses in Series 3 while sporting his mighty Helmet.
  • 2002: The Wainc cult expanded to massive proportions as the program began to draw an older audience as well as the traditional younger audience. Adults were as interested in Pínéis memorabilia as children, particularly the Deluxe Vibrating Pínéis action figure, which continued to sell strongly during the year.
  • November 25th 2002: Pínéis Day '02 was used to announce the formation of Post Láimhe Records. Pínéis' own record company was founded to create a platform for his music in the absence of any other company that was willing to support the controversial artist. As a celebration of the company's foundation a special edition of the previously banned album, 'Is Fearr Dhá Lámh a Úsáid' was released, featuring a new song, personally thanking Wainc's fans that stuck by him through the rough period, entitled 'Thanks For Keeping It Up'.
  • 2003: New Pínéis Wainc games were released, the first for the Game Boy Advance system, Pínéis Wainc Creamy Version and Pínéis Wainc Gluey Version, which were released on the same day as the Pokémon Ruby Version and Sapphire Version titles. The games went directly head to head against each other, both maintaining equally strong sales figures. However, November saw the release of the fifth Pínéis series which finally gave sales the boost they needed to create a considerable margin between themselves and the Pokémon titles. Sales figures reached a huge 5 million copies, statistically meaning that every household in the nation had a copy of the Pínéis Wainc games.
  • November 25th 2003: The fifth series, Pínéis' Comeback Special, launched on Pínéis Day '03. This was the most controversial series yet, depicting the use of mysterious Laser Liquid, which was said by lobbyists to glamourise the use of nuclear weapons, and therefore, an extremely negative example for children. As a response the program was moved back to the later time of 6.00pm on the TG4 schedule to deter children from un-supervised viewing.

The Television Series[edit]

Pínéis Wainc agus a Cháirde (a rare production image using images from the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon to represent Wainc's friends)

The Pínéis Wainc programme began in 1996 coinciding with the launch of the TG4 channel (formerly known as TnaG). Pínéis immediately captured the imagination of the youth of Ireland with the breakthrough debut series 'Pínéis Wainc agus a Chairde', which saw our hero Pínéis parttaking in numerous skirmishes and getting tangled up in all kinds of humorous jams. A second series swiftly followed depicting the events of the sticky mess Pínéis found himself in after attending an all-night rave unbeknownst to his parents. Controversy soon followed, politicians questioning the suitability of such a robust rolemodel for the youth of the country. Despite this, TG4 soon commissioned a third series, introducing several new characters into the liquid like mix of the Pínéis Wainc world. An enemy figure came to the fore, Seif and his motley crew, the Clam Media. Various frivollous interchanges were depicted in the series, most famously Pínéis's discovery that his teen sweetheart, Faigín Fallópach, was actually his mother. A fourth series placed Wainc in the tight snare of Sir Con Zizor, a bounty hunter hired by the Clam Media to decapitate our hero Pínéis. Pínéis fought back, creating the mighty Helmet (which he wore over his fore-head) with his caterpillar-like ability to produce strong armour from his mystical Sp²3RMº fluid. 2003 saw the screening of the long awaited fifth series, Pínéis' Comeback Special which finally revealed the truth behind the mysterious Claibín Púcach, a rubber-like ghost figure who had appeared randomly in the past four series attempting to suffocate our hero, Pínéis. But Pínéis came to rescue again, the series finale saw Pínéis drowning Claibín in a pool of his mysterious Laser Liquid formed from a chemical reaction between the Sp²3RMº fluid and the faeces of the legendary Spider Baby (def. A creature with the body of a baby but the mind of a spider, with magnets on its tail so it can attach itself to you if you are made of metal, lights on its back so that it lights up at night, four arses instead of a mouth, a retracable leg so it can leap up at you better and a tremendous fear of stamps). The series ended on a nerve-wracking cliff-hanger, where audiences were left questioning whether Pínéis would fall off the cliff. The fifth series, currently in development, is rumoured to feature the return of notorious Claibín Púcach, as a deformed creature known only as the Dur.experiment.

Music Career[edit]

Shortly after the end of the second series, Pínéis embarked on a music career. Striking a deal with Tara Records, the first album came to the fore in 1999, reaching the number one position in the Irish charts. The album, entitled 'Ag Truailliú Mé Féin', merged R'n'B, rock, pop, rap, and religious hymn styles of music to produce a groundbreaking sound that wowed critics and potential buyers alike. The first single to be released from the album, 'Cá Bhfuil Mo Uaillí?', famously knocked Eiffel 65's 'Blue (Da Ba Dee)' off the number one single spot after a reign of 9 weeks. The song was controversial, being the first children programme character based song to be given a 'Parental Warning' rating. Things got worse following this, with the second single's video being banned for depicting Pínéis snorting cocaine in the back of a stolen Mercedes Benz. An increase in drug abusers in rehab according to the census carried out the following year was blamed on this video. A third single, 'Ag Teacht go Fliuch' was refused release completely, however a small quantity reached the market and have become collectors items, fetching handsome sums on past eBay auctions. Wainc's second album, 'Is Fearr Dhá Lámh a Úsáid', brought a revolution in reggae beats, once again faring exceedingly well amongst critics. Collaborations on the album included songs with Cradle of Filth, Eurythmics and High-5, each bringing another intriguing musical skin to the fore. The album's reign on the top of the charts was short-lived, however, as Wainc's contract with his record company Tara Records, was prematurely severed and his album removed from the market. This was due to a controversial appearance by Wainc at the MTVIreland Awards 2001, where, live, he verbally harassed the female presenter and was seen clearly to perform lewd acts on stage. Tara Records decision to drop Pínéis sparked outrage amongst fans, who in response, set up a underground record company, eJac U.Nations (Entertainment Justice Amongst Companies in the United Nations), to supply illegal copies of the album, catering for a huge demand for the music of our saviour, Wainc. Despite the illegality of this operation, royalties were paid to Pínéis for the production of the album, which was used by Wainc to begin a record company of his own, Post Láimhe Records. eJac U.Nations has gone on to cater for the demand of other similarly banned production, such as '2 Girls 1 Cup' and episodes of Pokémon which cause epileptic fits. Following the formation of Post Láimhe Records a special edition of 'Is Fearr Dhá Lámh a Úsáid' was released, featuring a new song, personally thanking Wainc's fans that stuck by him through the rough period, entitled 'Thanks for keeping it up'.

Pínéis Wainc - The Movie[edit]

Pínéis Wainc - The Movie (Official logo)

On November 25th 2005 (Pínéis Day '05)FSM Productions announced plans for Pínéis Wainc - The Movie. The feature length film used much of the plot that was planned for Pínéis Wainc Series 5, which was due to launch on Pínéis Day '05 on the TG4 station but was cancelled due to criticism from the government (see Controversy section). The movie saw Pínéis taking part in a vigorous race against billions of other members of the Wainc species to their lost continent, the mysterious Broin of Peace. Awaiting there for the winner, is said to be Queen Ubhagán the Third who granted him the title of Síogót (Father of all who endow the Wainc). The evil Dur.experiment is said to go in search of the Broin of Peace using is new vehicle, the deadly Super Transportation Device (STD). He wishes to find Queen Ubhagán and become Síogót in order to control of those that Wainc and gain hold of their Sp²3RMº fliud. Dur.experiment wishes to use it in conjunction with Amazingly Nefarious Ammunition Loosening Liquid Used for Battle and Enjoyment (A.N.A.L.L.U.B.E.) to create a Super Laser Liquid which will finally anihalate Pínéis Wainc, who once before destroyed Dur.experiment in his previous incarnation of Claibín Púcach (see Television Series section).

Pínéis Wainc 2 - Journey to the Lost Valley of Brown[edit]

A sequel to the 2006 feature length film Pínéis Wainc - The Movie is currently in production. It is being directed by James Cameron and will be entirely shot using 3D technology. Plot details are scarce but an early draft of the script revealed that in the wake of his victory over the evil Dur.experiment, Wainc had fallen ill. A new enemy in the form of Dr. Sid Phillus and his army of killer Crabs are now hunting for Pínéis hoping to retrieve his magical spheres, the producers of his deadly Sp²3RMº fluid. It is said that they want to use this fluid to grow a clone army of Pínéis Wainc. Wary of this, Wainc journeys to the only place on earth where his fluid is inpotent: the ancient Valley of Brown. He hopes to store his fluid here where it will be protected by the Legion of P.O.O. (Protectors Of Organs) and their leader General X. Crement. But with his Sp²3RMº powers stripped of him in this unfamiliar territory Wainc must return to training to master the long lost powers of Pínéis's kind: The Art of Murdough. It is said that this art grants the master the ability to launch the deadly UR-9 liquid into enemies' mouths and to woo any female counterpart by magically forming their names on footpaths. What sticky tangle shall Wainc find himself in this time?

Controversy[edit]

On the third of November 2005 the programme was axed from the TG4 schedule. It is currently battling to find another broadcaster, due to TG4's untimely cancellation. Despite the programme drawing the largest viewing audience of any programme in the 10 year history of the TG4 station and in recent years having garnered a cult like following encompassing all ages of viewers, the head of the TV station, Cathal Goan, was forced to remove the programme from the schedule due to huge criticism from the government and others that the programme contained too many sound-alike jokes (despite having perfectly acceptable Irish language meanings)and suggestive material for a programme intended for children. The government threatened to cut funds to the station (being a semi-owned state company) if the programme continued to be aired.

External links[edit]

  • [http: //www.freewebs.com/pineis-wainc/ Campaigning for the return of Pínéis to our screens]
  • [http: //www.freewebs.com/pineiswaincfans/ Celebrating Pínéis' revival on the big screen]