Planimals

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“Gotta catch em all!”

~ Some guy on planimals

Planimals are a species of nitrogen-based life forms that populate the dreaded regions of the world, having come into being by means of Unnatural Selection. Their name is a combination of the words Plant and Animals. They roam the dreaded forests and deserts of Cheese (see the world). In the land of Cheese, no human dares to venture, for the Planimals, which rule the land, will eat a human as soon as look at it. During certain points in history, certain Planimals have escaped the confines of their little country, and wreaked havoc upon the globe. These are listed below.


Heleafant[edit]

The fearsome Heleafant, stalking it's prey.

The Heleafant is one of the smelliest (and therefore most feared) creatures known to exist in Cheese. It's tough, green, leathery exterior proves a rather inpenetrable armor. It's empty, dark eyes mask it's 20/20 vision, and it's huge, leafy ears allow it to both hear the most minuscule of details and undergo photosynthesis at the same time. It always travels in a herd, which tend to include the Alpha Male, the Alpha Female, the Beta Male, the Omega Male, and the Director of Choreography. During a famous incident in 1922, a lost Heleafant wandered out of cheese and into the nearby village of Pasedina, killing 40 humans and 16 gnomes during it's rampage. It was finally gas-poisoned and it's carcass was cut up and fed to starving children.

Animants[edit]

Rober Plant

Animants are one of the most bizarre of the Planimals. They stupidly assembled themselves out of pictures of the famous civil rights activist Robert Plant and the terrorist mastermind Animal. During a horrifying episode in 1793, a Animant escaped and wrecked the countryside. However, it stopped at a colliseum and put on a really freaking awesome rock show. Then, of course, it started to kill everyone again.

Squirapple[edit]

OH NOES! Look out!

The Squireapple may be one of the most feared creatures to come out of Cheese. It is said they purposely come out every 100 years to feast on the flesh of the non-pineapple humanoids that inhabit the rest of the world. Malicious maimers, skillfull stalkers, ferocious fuckers, allegorious alliterators, the Squirapple will gouge your eyes out and rip you, limb from limb, then it will squeeze out your brain juices and swallow whats left of you. It is rumored that the Squireapple is so ferocious, not even your soul can escape it's grasp.

It has been told in legends of old, originating in Ethiopia, that if one were to ever catch and drink the delicious juice of a Squireapple, you would become immortal. However, only one person has ever tried this. William Shatner tried, and failed, but survived with irreversible brain damage. He is now retarded.

Bulbasaur[edit]

The Hostile Planimal, Bulbosaur

Bulbasaurs roamed Cheese for nearly 900 years before they were discovered by mankind. They are lizard-like quadrapeds with laser-shooting eyes and a large uncomfortable bulb of some plant-like material on their backs. It is hypothesized that the bulb of a bulbosaur can both fold out into a lawnchair and be used as a parasol during the hot cheese days. Bulbosaurs were first discovered by the Zoologist Ash Catchum from Palet town, who journeyed into Cheese muttering something about "trying to catch them all". His theory was that if he threw a plastic red and white ball at it, he could sustain its powers. As far as human kind knows, he has never returned.