Pokémon Battles

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“Like cockfights, except boring.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pokemon battles

“Pokemon are known to be slave to the max!!!”

~ Adolf Hitler on Zero tolerence
Nosepass is the only pokemon that is less powerful then a five year old, its main attacks are facing north and falling over, but it still works on idiots who dont know when you should run instead of crouch down.

Pokémon battles are a popular form of entertainment among barbaric people, where the pokémon have to fight each other. It used to be illegal, but was made legal again by Pikachu in 1930 soon after his rise to power. Unfortunately it was so popular that the government refuses to crack down on it.

Typical Wild pokemon battle[edit]

A Wild Bibarel Appeared! Go Psyduck!

The Wild Bibarel Used Amnesia!

The Wild Bibarel's attack rose!

Psyduck Used Water Gun!

It's not Very effective. Dumbass.

The Wild Bibarel Used Headbutt!

Psyduck Used Confusion!

Psyduck's Attack missed. Because Psyduck fails at life.

You Cant Escape. What's wrong with you? Stay and fight like a man! What are you, ten?! Oh.

Psyduck Switch out, Come Back! Back into your slave ball, you useless animal.

Go Crobat!

Got away safely. Being a punk bitch pays off! Great life lesson.

Psyduck gained 12 exp.

Crobat gained 1000 exp.

Crowbat has reached level Who-gives-a-flying-fuck!

Typical Trainer Battle[edit]

A typical Trainer Battle in pictures

You are challenged By Ace Trainer Dick

Ace Trainer dick sent out Luxray

Go Psyduck

Psyduck used Sex Toy!

Luxray evaded the attack!

Luxray use Cum Shot!

Psyduck's accuracy decreased!

Player faints due to gayness.


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Thanks in advance.

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