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Professor Oak posing with members of the PokeBitches after a long night of anal sex. This Photo was taken moments before Officer Jenny committed suicide in a bathroom stall at a local Olive Garden

The PokeBitches was an escort service owned by Pokemon researcher, Professor Elm. Elm ran the PokeBitches for 12 years from 1984 to 1996. Many of the hos working for Elm became celebrities in the world of Pokemon, such as Ash's Mom, Misty, May, Dawn, Erika, all the Nurse Joys, and Brock. However, not all the PokeBitches found a life of fame waiting for them after there twelve years of prostitution. Many, such as Alice "LooseVagina" Smith, Tammy Imawhore, Julio Silverwolf and Anna Nicole Smith faded into obscurity.

Alice "LooseVagina" Smith in her post PokeBitch days as Jynx.

Unwanted Pregnancies[edit]

Elm prohibited the use of condoms for his hos stating, "that shit ain't natural," because of this the PokeBitches experienced many unwanted pregnancies. The most publicized of these unwanted bastard children was Ash Ketchum. For all we know, Ash's father could be anything with a functioning penis in the entire world of Pokemon. Also, every protagonist in the Pokemon videogames is a child of a former PokeBitches member.

Celebrity Customers[edit]

The PokeBitches had very high profile clients, including the rich and famous. notable people who have requested the services of the PokeBitches include Professor Oak of Pallet Town (a long time friend and fellow pimp of Elm's), Giovanni of Team Rocket fame, Sabrina, Blaine, the dude at the daycare in Cerulean, Mr. Psychic, Mr. Mime, Gary Oak, that fat guy in front of Professor Oak's lab, Oscar Wilde, Ellen DeGeneres, and Courtney Love (best customer).

Professor Elm, the Pimp behind the PokeBitches

See also[edit]