Police Academy

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Police Academy is a series of documentary films, the first six of which were made in the 1980's based on the actual facts of misfits wanting to join the Police force & the seventh movie, Mission to Moscow, was released in 1994 and was received by 99.9% of viewers as the biggest piece of crap they had seen since Police Academy 6. Number 7 is not considered part of the PA franchise of movies as it was given the green-light to go-ahead and begin shooting in hopes Warner Brothers could knock off Micheal Jackson's Moonwalker as the worst-movie-of-all-time and succeeded. The series opened with the first Police Academy (1984) which started with the premise that a new mayor had announced a policy requiring the police academy to accept degenerates, smart-asses, men who can turn cars over with there bare hands and guy's who can make funny noises with there mouths. The movie followed a group of misfit recruits in their attempts to show the world that the Police force is full of incompetent morons which has set the standard IQ level required for all Police Academy training campus' around the world today. The main character, Carey Mahomo (Steve Guttertrash), was a repeat offender who was forced to join the police academy as punishment.

In general, all of the movies and television shows depended on low-budget film crews, documenting the characterizations and lives of the latest recruits. The first cop-umentry grossed $81.24 in North America, with the following films earning $1.50 in total.

Police Academy[edit]

The first Cop-U-Mentry[edit]

Tack beats the shit out of a cop car with his head

Huge Willie' was looking to direct his next low budget snuff film when he heard that WB was looking for a director to document the local Police Academy to show just who is upholding the law for U.S citizens not on patrol. Huge begun filming on recruitment day and soon found his main focus on a degenerate named Carey Mahomo. Steve had just recently been fired as a valet car parker after the parkee made a rude comment to Carey and he parked his $125,000 Camero between a Volvo and a Nissan, hence pissing off the owner who specifically asked for it to be parked next to an American vehicle. Mahomo was then sent to the Academy by Gordon from Sesame Street as a choice of going to the academy or watching 5 minutes of a Richard Simmons work out video.

Other focus' where followed such as Moses Hightower, a 7-feet tall florist who tip cars over with his bare hands. Eugenie Tackleberry who had a multiple-personality disorder that made him think he was Rambo. Midget Hooks, who was a shy little black BBW, but what a great set of tits she had! Some Fat Guy, a geek with glasses, and the guy who spoke with a fake Spanish accent to bang chicks.

It also introduced the nazi leaders of the academy, Captain Thaddeus Faggos, that's Captain Hardass, in case you missed it, and Sgt Callahan who was a bitch until Harris went head first up a horses ass in a motorcycle accident, and upon hearing this, her incredibly large breasts joined the side of good.

The documentary finished on a high note when Tackleberry beat the shit out of a squad car using his own head.

These cops are just horsing around

Police Academy 2: There first ass-rimming[edit]

With the huge grossing income of the first documentary, director Huge Willie was able to finance the series of pornography films he had always dreamed of making. But unfortunately his success with Titty-Titty Bang-Bang & The Wanker of Oz failed to gain any recognition, so making a sequel to his previous main-stream hit meant he could pay off his financial debt. So Huge gathered up who he could from the first documentary to make a follow up and see where they where now. Luckily for him, Commandant Retard's brother needed a few good men to come and help him clean up his precincts end of town. So Laretard sent his newest rookies that where head-of-the-class off to the precinct to help him out.

This time around the new recruits found themselves taking on a group of street punks with a leader that no one could understand, but feared him for his emotional instability of watching Shirley Temple movies and would have a joyfulness ending when they captured all the punks on the street because each and everyone of them belonged to the one gang who all lived together in the same refuge.

Police Academy 3: Back In The Ass Engaging[edit]

Sgt. Callahan sure did bring the boys to the yard when she showed her guns!

With the success of the first film, and George Lucas completing his Star Wars trilogy, it was the latest rage to make 3rd sequels to all movies. So Huge figured why not make a 3rd documentary on his misfits of the police force. His original title was "do you give a crap where they are now..again?" was backed by WB to start filming right away. This time Huge found the Academic achievers where back at the academy helping out Incompetent LaRetard train the new recruits, which could be the last academy to ever be trained at there academy, due to the governor wanting to close down one of the academies to save 20 bucks on toilet paper per year.

Huge also filmed the rival academy that consisted of nothing but Nazi's and young & strapping handsome men. If you have not seen the documentary, and wish to, we will not spoil the end by telling you which academy survives. You will have to watch it to find out if LaRetards academy is the victor. We will not even give you any hint's as we really do not like spoilers here on uncyclodpeida.com. And if you have seen the movie, and know the outcome, please to not reveal it to anyone else who may be reading this. Thank you.

scary thing is, we didn't edit this!

Police Academy 4: Shitheads on patrol[edit]

So after LaRetard won the battle to keep his academy open, he has a brilliant idea to help get the community more involved in crime prevention. In a scheme he called "Citizens Undertaking Natrual-crime-provention Tactic Structures" or CUNTS for short. The boys n girls in blue help out LaRetards plan to get the civilians to do the work of the cops. It however backfired in the end when not one of CUNTS helped to save the govenor in the end and it was Mahomo that was left to save the day.

Police Academy 5: Ass-rimming on Miami Beach[edit]

By this time Huge had used up all his money on more independent fuck-features like "Willy Wanka & The Cock Licking Factory" and "3 Men & a Horny Lady" so he had to beg for a 5th documentary to be allowed to be made by him. It was given the OK and he found the group of academic graduates where about to embark to Miami to assist Commondumcunt Eric Laretard who was accepting the award for Police Ass-Rimmer of the decade. Along the journey LaRetard is kidnapped by a group of wogs and doesn't realize they are not gigolos.

the movie was the start of the down fall of PA movies, as it was not set in the Academy, therefor making the title seem a little misleading, and Mahomo had fucked off with Sharon Stone and fell out of a hot-air balloon on there honey-moon when Mahomo realized she had beaver that caused him to fall over the side of the balloon in a fatal retraction.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege[edit]

you can tell by the cover it's shit

This time Huge was just scraping the bottom of the barrel in what was the last of the documentary series. He followed the story of a chef named Casey Ribek who rescued a battle ship from being taken over by Tommy Lee Jones.

This was regarded as one of the worst documentaries ever.

Police Academy 7: Pissing in Moscow[edit]

Due to the nature of this documentary, we refuse to acknowledge its existence, our only excuse for mentioning it here by now is it is the #1 worst movie of all time, next to Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker, The Slaughterhouse Massacre and Halloween 2. Please refrain from trying to find a copy of this film, and destroy any copy of it you might see given to someone as an April fools joke.

Jones talks to.... never mind, you see why it failed

Cop Outs[edit]

The Cartoon Series[edit]

There was a cartoon series based off these documentaries, but no one ever saw them, hence we don't know jack shit about them.

The TV Series[edit]

Once again, no one ever saw these, so we can only say sweet fuck-all about them!

The Future Of Police Academy Documentaries?[edit]

Huge Willie has hinted at making an 8th documentary soon if his latest porno flicks "Mr Hollands Orgy", "Riding Miss Daisy" or "Beaver & Buttfuck Do Dallas" don;t make him a 12 dollar profit to get back what he put into the making of the films. If he fails to achieve that, he will make Police Academy 8. However in this day and age, it will most likely not be called Police Academy 8, it will be more some like "THE police academy" or "Steve Guttertrash needs to revive his career"


See Also[edit]