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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Polygon.

“Because I polyed her nomial, and it hurt like a mother.”

~ Oscar Wilde on This guy

In geometry, a polygon is a shape, or a digital photograph of a shape, which is composed of one or more individual gons. Alternatively, in piracy a polygon can refer to a dead parrot.


The first known polygon, the semi-irregular truncated heptadecagon, was discovered by Isosceles of Crete in 1492 BCE (17 years after he made the startling discovery that both of his legs were of the same length).

Another example is the Hexagon; pronounced Hexa-Gone, this word describes the action of a common south american flightless bird, the Hexa. When it comes in to contact with an oxymoron, it disregards any compasion for its offspring and flees wailing friverously at top of its delicate nipple.

Within the next few minutes, billions and billions of polygons were classified, catalogued, and wikified by Ancient Greece's vast army of philosophers, mathematicians, sages, orators, poets, pundits, and other thinking persons that for the moment had nothing better to do on a Saturday night (other than opportunistic wanking). Some polygons have been known to kill people. People who have been killed by polygons include Elvis Presley, John F. Kennedy, and Martin Luther King Jr.

Some exceedingly dull properties of Polygons[edit]

  • The word "unigon" can be changed to "unicorn" by changing the "g" to a "c" and inserting an "r" in the appropriate place.
  • The internal angles of a digon (i.e. two-sided polygon) are very, very pointy.
  • Every right triangle adheres to the unforgiving and draconian laws of trigonometry.
  • All squares have four right angles, which collectively add up to a bigger angle.
  • Contrary to popular opinion, the pentagon is not particularly evil.
  • Bees love hexagons!(which are polygons, for those who are retarded)
  • The cardinality of the set of all polygons that cannot be decomposed into smaller polygons is humongous.
  • Every polygon is isomorphic to itself.
  • The vast majority of polygons are exquisitely boring.
  • Rounded polygons are pointless (Prescottgons)
  • Polygons were interesting sex tools with a rope at the end of the extreme with banana and cheese with crap in it.
  • it was also found by Some Retarded Guy (SRG) and he thought that he had invented it by buying a childrens colouring book and sleeping with it to tell him the truth.

Polygons frequently featured on Sesame Street[edit]

  • Square
  • Big wfdofdgund f|fdbwob]]
  • Semi-irregular truncated heptadedgdagcagon
  • Supercalifragilistexpialidocousgon
  • Blinkanitzgon
  • Cookie monster
  • cheese
  • polyhexasextrianglon

Polygons and Video Games[edit]

In the world of video games, the Polygon is worshipped by gamers. A large part of a console's appeal is how many polygons it can display. The Polygon replaced the Bit as the object of worship in video games in the 90s, around the same time 3D consoles where coming out (what a coincidence...!)

Scenes such as the following are common in the video game world:

  • Nerd 1: Dude, check out my Gamestation 12, it can display 62476 polygons!
  • Nerd 2: Peh, that's nothing, my Playbox 36 can display 62481 polygons.
  • Nerd 1: I am unworthy....(drool, drool)

Another version of the same scene:

  • Nerd 1: Dude, check out my Gamestation 12, it can display 62476 polygons!
  • Nerd 2: Peh, that's nothing, my Playbox 36 can display 62481 polygons.
  • God: Foolish mortals, my FatalDrive clocks in at 7000000+ polygons plus infinity.
  • Nerds 1 and 2: Cool! (both fall over)

See also[edit]