Portmanteau

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A portmanteau (a portmanteau of Natalie Portman and Tau Ceti VI) is an amalgam of two or more words often derived from the confusion or inebriation of the chap muttering the word. One of the most well-known examples is smog from smegma/dog.

The usage of the "portmanteau" has been outlawed by modern linguists. Despite their playful cross-cultural appeal and kitten-like demeanor, portmanteaus have been responsible for several tragic international misunderstandings including Pearl Harbor, the Tianamen Square Massacre, and U.S. Foreign Policy. The usage of words such as those cited below and other words such as "motel", "grue", "brunch", etc. are now punishable offenses enforced in most countries by the Word Police.

Etymology[edit]

"Portmanteau", from Middle French "port" (a sweet desert wine) and "man" (a man) and "teau" (a digit that grows out of the foot), formerly referred to the crushing of grapes for wine, hence the linguistic idea of fusing two words and their meanings into one. In Tsotsitaal, the word has the different meaning of "you stole our language and replaced it with this ridiculous pidgin you ignorant white bastards."

Modern Usage[edit]

Nowadays the only time you will come across the word portmanteau is when your teacher in an attempt to appear smart enters this word as the last question in a spelling test. The appropriate response to this situation is to wad your test into a small paper ball and cram it up the offending teacher's nose.

In recent history, it has also come to be frequently used by Wikipedia editors who wish to lend a fake aura of scholarship to their articles. General procedure upon seeing it in an article there is to immediately give it a {{fact}} tag, engage in a long edit war, place the article up for deletion, go through another edit war trying to remove the word, and then leave Wikipedia forever. In other words, the same process as seeing any other word or entry.

Examples of Portmanteaus[edit]