Poulton-Le-Fylde

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Poulton-Le-Fylde. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Despite, or perhaps because of, its small size and proximity to the massive international shipping port of Skipool Creek, Poulton-Le-Fylde contains more gibbering alcoholics than any other location on the planet (including the sheep shearing regions of Australia)

Local legend says that the first village of Poulton was created when Old Nick casually discarded an enchanted beer bottle on the spot just after the fall of Eden. This then attracted drink seeking idiots from all the lands around who, upon drinking the remnants of said beer, found themselves beholden to hang about and make some more.

In direct contrast the only reliable historical records indicate that the site was originally settled by drunken Vikings in the 874th century BC since the name is a literal translation of the old Norse for "Bloody hell there's a lot of pubs in this village.. And look how close they are together.. WAHEY!".

Closed wednesday afternoons and the occasional sunday, bring skimpy clothing and beer money. Visitors should be aware of the presence of several indiginous creatures, attired in tracksuits and baseball caps, who can be irritable when drunk, and tend to congregate in areas around Poulton-Le-Fylde

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