Presidential Mullet Day

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Abraham Lincoln, seen here with his favourite mullet.

Presidential Mullet Day is a day where people from around the world celebrate Presidents with mullets. Mitchell Says: USA, FIND THE HEAD


It all started back in 1856, on June16th, when President Abe Lincoln and other presidents needed to invent a new holiday to scam everybody in order to plan a Presidential Spring Break trip to Mexico City. After some clever thinking they came up with the most ingenious plan in United States history.

On the 17th of June 1856 they declared the day Presidential Mullet Day. They decided to start a greeting card company on the same day, and simultaneously pass a law requiring citizens to send each other cards on each and every proposed holiday. Although there were many choices for cards, the special presidential mullet cards could only be purchased from the Presidential Mullet Card Company, which was later bought by the international conglomerate, Foyerstain Greeting Cards.

Public Reaction[edit]

The Mullet War[edit]

Then on the 14th of June 1863 Cool State 2 was invaded by the USA (union) military. The citizens were outraged by the invasion and began to arm themselves with air rifles and water pistols. This was very little in defense to the union troops, with their clean-cut hair-dos, money clips and double-breasted suits.

For the next 2 months both sides were continuously fighting, resulting in 1200 Union scalpings and 500 dead Confederate rat-tails. But things came to a head when 120 union soldiers secretly infiltrated Cool State 2, blowing up a local barber shop, killing 3 people. The Confederate Cool State 2 army responded by throwing in the white towel, and shaving off all their mullets.

Mullet Day Today[edit]

Presidential Mullet Day has since been outlawed, and anyone who celebrates it will be fined. Fines of up to 120 dollars have been issued across the United States. However, die-hard mullet fans usually celebrate the day in solitude, combing and trimming their prideful mane. When all the grooming is done, they use the trimmings to make kitchsy glue-stick art to take upstairs for their Mothers to hang on the fridge.