“I'LL GET YOU!!! YOU WON'T ESCAPE... MY WRATH!!!”
“RAWR! FEEL MY WRATH!!!”
“Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the dinner bill?”
“OVER... well, 8999 actually. Its precisely 9000.”
Prince Vegeta is Prince of the Saiyans, savior of the Earth and the male rape god of the universe. The perfect warrior, cold and ruthless, living on his strength alone. It is said that his sexual power comes from his Black Star Dragon Balls, which grants him a never ending supply of his own personal blend of pregnancy syrup. He has raped virtually every character on Dragon Ball Z, be they male, female or... other. He lost some of his sex appeal in Dragon Ball GT after growing a moustache, but regained it after a good shave and the purchase of some skin-tight leather pants. He is considered a tri-sexual, or someone who is prepared to try anything at least once.
[[Image:Baby_vegeta.jpg|left|thumb|127px|raped with Goku's wife, Chi-Chi (hell, who hasn't? I mean, Zarbon, who was on NAMEK, met her on EARTH and cummed in mouth!), and their first son, Gohan. Vegeta ran into some problems in raping Gohan; He also raped Piccolo, Gohan's master and boyfriend, but Vegeta managed to rape both also I know a threesome. This was a one-off, however, as it turned out, to Vegeta's disappointment, that Piccolo was asexual (which leads to the question, how did he and Gohan have a relationship? Guess you'll never know!) Vegeta went on to rape Androids 16, 17 and 18, Cell, Yajirobe, Master Roshi, Launch, Yamcha, Pan, Dende, Tien, Videl, duff man, king kai, fat fags, fat hobos, every single Power Ranger and even Paris Hilton(whore godess). At one point he even considered raping Trunks, before realising that Trunks was his son that had come from the future using his flux capacitor. Even this didn't put him off very much until Goku pointed out that there were laws against incest, and besides, who would want to sleep with a guy with fruity purple hair? So Vegeta allowed him to return Back to the Future where he knew his son would become the next male rape god of the universe.
Vegeta's longest-lasting rape slave relationship was with Bulma Briefs, because the idea of dating a girl named after lingerie while raping her through her lingerie appealed to him. He got tottally out of his mind when he realised that there was still Zarbon left to rape, and then a second blow came: Zarbon raped Bulma (when she was still a virgin and only Vegeta knew her on all three holes. Not being able to stand it, Vegeta tried to rape Zarbon as well, but was stopped by Chi-Chi and Bulma, just as Zarbon was about to transform.
It seemed that he didn't have to transform, so Zarbon took both Chi-Chi and Bulma to rape them, and by the time Goku and Vegeta were done hunting him down, all three (Bulma, Chi-Chi and Zarbon) had enjoyed those three hours on planet earth, and Zarbon escaped the enraged Saiyans. He is said to be on planet Cold with Zangya raping his monster once in a while.
In the end justice prevails and The Great Semenman appears!!
Vegeta has two children, Trunks and Bra. Trunks is a goodie goodie boy who is very straight and likes to use his mommy as a sex slave. Bra takes after both her mother and her father in the fact that she is a slut. She aims to break her father's record and sleep with even more characters than he has. Like her father, she is a bisexual, and Zarbon has also had her when she bas eating out Pan.Vegeta is also the father of Chuck Norris
Vegeta with Bulma and Big Time Lows
Vegeta actually beats Bulma and doesn't like sex with out lots of bondage gear while being beaten severely along with Bulma. It really boosts Vegeta's sexual arousal. He doesn't actually screw Bulma (due to getting angry and turning super saiyaho and "Final Flashing" his wife's lips between the hips). Vegeta has been to court many times thanks to his anger for losing against the computer in Tenkaichi 3. It was on the hard difficulty setting. Vegeta got extremely angry and beat Bulma and Trunks for not being able to hit his enemy with the "Final Explosion" move with Majin Vegeta. When Bra was born, Vegeta hit a real low which is when he had hit and caught a really bad case of "Emoism" and cut his hair shorter to look like Gohan and Yamcha. Vegeta is currently on trial for eating all the pizzas at an all you can eat restaurant. The cook claims that Vegeta said he will "Galick Gun" his ass if he doesn't cook more pizzas for him and lose to him in a few rounds of Shin Budokai to build his self esteem.
Prince Vegeta's other Hobbies
Outside of training, rape and wearing pink shirts, Prince Vegeta kills his penis the emo way every day of the week, disregarding anything Bulma has to say about it. When he stated that he physically finally destroyed his own nuts Vegeta has cut several Death Metal records, and does his walls, and also runs his own division of Capsule Corps cutting his fingers once a month, "Super Underarm Deodoran", and has been seen growing a garden of some variety of flower. Vegeta also goes to the beach to look for old men to molest.
Controversy: The Vegeta Tape
Much controversy surrounds Vegeta's status as a rape God as instead being one who is God of being raped after an apparent suicide attempt. Vegeta was kept alive but a tape of the event has since circulated to the internet. This tape sheds doubt on the previous accounts of his life. The recording was made of the event by Giro, that annoying fucking robot thing from GT. In it, a despondent and miserable Vegeta reflects on his life, his many failures in battle, and attempts suicide but is thwarted and viciously attacked by his rival Goku. Here is that tape:
"My name...is Vegeta and I have accomplished nothing with my existence. I FIGHT! But do nothing except get the shit kicked out of me. So I become scared of fighting! My own planet was destroyed in front of me. And what did I do? I cried like a 10 year old girl over her dollies and begged Kakarot to saaaaave me pleaaaaase. But on Namek he let me die. And I cried. Tears poured down my face as I told my pathetic life story to all who would care to listen. Of course they all flew away laughing as my last bit of life drained away.
After being brought back by an unmerciful God I was tortured, burned, and raped (my balls were cut off back then with that FREAKING whip...) by a woman named Bulma. She gave birth to my son, my only son...AND HE HAS PURPLE HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
At this point I realized what a mockery of existence my life had become. But wait there is more!
My son, surpassed me in strength, power, everything. He is better than me in all ways and HES A COMPLETE FAGGOT!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" -Goku storms into the room- "SHUT THE FUCK UP VEGETA!!!!" "Oh i'm sorry Kakarot PLEAAAAASE dont hit me PLEEEEEEEASE. Man i'll....i'll SUCK YOUR DIIICK!!! JUST PLEASE DONT HIT ME!!!!"
"Oh God look at me begging for mercy...i'm such a PUUUUUUUUUSSY! And yet there is still more patheticness to come."
"In one battle my son was killed. KILLED! And despite trying my hardest. Despite using every ounce of strength trying to be a real man...despite all that I was brutally and completely beaten nearly to death with ONE hit by a being named Cell. Were it not for Gohan, a child well-known for his female emotions and his lack of balls, I would have died once more. At this point I admitted to myself what Yamcha and Tien were whispering, 'I have become completely useless...' With that I flew away and cried myself to sleep. I tucked my legs, stuck my thumb in my mouth and accepted myself as I am. A complete waste of sperm."
"As if that weren't bad enough, I sacrificed my own life at one point to blow up a fat piece of shit. Whose body was PINK for fucks sake PINK! And all I accomplished was committing suicide. Something which made everyone celebrate. Despite their celebrating they decided to bring me back again to once again wallow in the misery and shame that is my disgusting filthball of a life.'
But I shall have the last laugh. YES I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WINS.' -Pulls out a .45 and plays Smile Empty Soul's (one of the most hilariously emo bands in existence) song With This Knife-
"Because with this weapon I shall seal my fate. HAHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!" "Vegeta!" -Goku whips out his belt and smacks Vegeta across the face with it. He then proceeds to drag Vegeta by his hair down the steps face first and boots him outside- "K-Kakarot n-n-nooo!!!! Not here not with so many people Pleeeeaaaaase!!!!!" "BITCH!"
-Goku pimp smacks Vegeta which causes everyone to laugh at him. Cars honk in appreciation as they pass by. Goku proceeds to place Vegeta's head in the car and slams the door. EIGHT TIMES! After Vegeta shits himself Goku advises him to take a shower. He goes inside and comes out with a beer. He then proceeds to chug and pisses on him. Vegeta covered in tears reaches towards the sky in vain because Goku takes the hand and stabs it with a knife.- "Is this how it is to end?" (Of course with his mouth swollen shut and half his teeth busted what came out was) "WAAAAAA! WHYYYYYY!? WAAAAAAAA!"
-Trunks pulls up in his car and sees what a mess his father has become- "Wow dad...you got knocked the fuck out...Man i'm a complete faggot and even I do better. Fuckin pussy. -Trunks ejucates in Vegetas eye. He then flips Vegeta over and pulls down his pants.- "NO TRUNKS NO NO NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-Later that night, Vegeta lies beaten severely in a corner covered in used condoms and kitty litter. He is currently tied to the ground in leather bondage. Piccolo and Bulma reside in the corner smoking cigars and laughing. Occasionally they come over and put out a cigar in Vegeta's ass. Tears fall freely out of Vegetas once proud eyes. To further his embarrassment he is strung up outside where passing cars use him for target practice. They throw McDonald's bags at him and filled milkshakes which explode on his head causing him to freeze and shake violently. Occasionally man urine seeps out of his ass. A sign of what his own son did to him-
The legitimacy of the tape is still being confirmed...however his version of events is corroborrated in the famous documentary DBZ which depicts the misadventures of Vegeta, Goku and others. A common theme surrounding Vegeta is talking tough and getting pwned, if not outright killed by various larpers in wierd outfits. The sex tape called "The Whole Universe Is Going to Die" featuring a gay, near rape of Vegeta by Goku has also led to most supporting the theory that vegeta was in fact the bitch.
Critics say that the vegeta tape is probably better than most fanfiction.
--Shingraham 18:07, 20 January 2009 (UTC)