“Converse All-Stars, Vintage 2004.”
“STIX NIX PRODUX PIX”
Product placement is when advertisements are discreetly inserted into places like movies, TV shows, music, news programs, video games, websites, books, clothing, furniture, paintings, weather patterns, school courses, and Congressional hearings. This revolutionary method of delivering commercial content forms powerful emotional connections, allows more specific demographic targeting, and ultimately serves to promote synergy across brands, ushering in a new age of economic innovativeness.
But worry not; as this is a noncommercial wiki, we have no need to stoop as low as that avenue. Now, put on your Hollister T-shirt, hop into your Ford Focus, and be sure to pack extra bags of Tostitos. We're going down the exciting trail of product placement.
Despite what some may have you believe, product placement has been utilized for millienia. The renowned cave painter Gak-Ook-Ratar was known to use product placement in his works, like the seminal Gak Ttopt Filoo (Man Kills Deer), in which the titular Man is obviously using a Gyowar Brand spear to kill said Deer. In the follow-up painting, Ratar and his cave companions are dancing around a fire lit by L'kyib Brand flint (It's a known fact that L'kyib flint was produced by Ratar's cousin, Ekk-Goooo-Psjog. Nepotism much?).
This technique continued to be widely used during the Renaissance era, as in Christopher Marlowe's lost work The Banker of Milan:
|...And I balked at disgust, for what I did find. That Guylock did not deign to use Earl Shampoo! Lo, it is the only shampoo in the land fit for the Queen! My soul could not bear this travesty! Posthaste, I retreated to my castle and doth proceeded to plot my revenge.|
Unfortunately, no copies of this play survive, due to allegations of plagiarism. Tragic, really. But by buying a Family-size ADT-protected safe, you can be assured your family's precious documents are safe and sound. Much more trustworthy than some bank.
The use of product placement has only increased in recent years, after being frowned upon by many for decades. Heck, even James Bond himself is aware of the inherent sexiness in an Omega watch. The only watch with customizable wrist straps!
In the interest of fairness, this article will attempt to provide the opinions of others on this matter:
"I believe product placement is a blatant violation of consumer laws. The FTC must step up to the plate. It must be willing to strictly enforce advertising laws. People are innocent. Corporations are evil. Their powers must be curtailed or their influence will spread across this great nation, eventually seeping into the highest office in the land! By the way, vote Obama!"
"The MAN is trying to put us DOWN! With their incessant ADS for Proactiv and Magic Bullet! I speak for ALLLL OF AMERICA when I say DOWN with COMMERCIALISM! If you want more details, read my latest book: The Capitalist Conspiracy! NOW available at YOUR local Barnes & Noble!"
I believe you'll agree with me when I say these opinions are false and unsubstantiated. You can't stop the future.
Promotional consideration for this article provided by 7-Up. You just can't ignore the feel-good taste of 7-Up!