Professor Oak

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Professor Oak. No really.
Oak drinks Oaken Ale

“Bitch be trippin' BALLS.”

~ Professor Oak on How many PokeBalls Ash has

Professor Samuel "The Pimp" Oak is an elderly, but sexually capable, man, that knows more about pokemon than Ash, Max (Pokemon), Misty, Brock, Pikachu (Ash), and Ash's Mom combined. He is an expert, and yet at the same time, extremely gross.


Oak was born in the year 1921, making him a little older than you. He was born to his mom and dad, whose names have been lost in time. They walked into a stolen time machine and got eaten by Ghengis Khan. Oak had it rough growing up in the Depression as an orphan. He lived in Wisconsin. Poor kid. There's like, nothing there but cheese, and Kahl-ee-foh-nee-ah's cheese is better anyways.

Oak when he is bored

Somehow, he survived. And unlike a surprising proportion of people, there was NOTHING innapropriate involved. Wow. He ate cheese until he got sick, and then sat in a hospital until they cured him. When the doctor's demanded pay, he jumped out a window, and had to be readmitted. When he got better, he would sneak out. Then he would gorge on cheese. The cycle literally happened once a week. Apperantly, the doctor's were too stupid to realize he would't jump out another window.

He survived on odd jobs until he discovered pokemon in the 70's. He studied them for twenty years, then released them in Japan in the 90's. He was an expert, and built many useful items for them like Pokeballs, and Potions.

Oak having Ash

In the 90's, after the release, Oak decided to have his own show, which he named Pokemon (Show). But he needed someone to star, a son. So he had a foursome, and eventually Ash's Mom had one for Oak.

In Pokemon[edit]

Oak has few roles in the show. He plays himself, and gives Ash a suped up Pikachu, named Pikachu. He usually is seen on his lab, 'taking care of' pokemon. What he does unfortunatly, can't be shown to those 8 year olds that watch the show.

He has minimal roles, usually showing up for major events, then disapearing.

Current Lifestyle[edit]

Due to the fact that Pokemon (in his opinion) sucks, Oak wants another son, for another show. He probably has some new mutant creature that can beat something up, or whatever.

Closing Comments[edit]

Oak is so hot.