Project Cletus

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In January 2005, the creationist organization CARP (Creationist Association of Research Propagandists) launched Project Cletus (PC) as a way to counter typical (and false) evolutionist indoctrination.

The List[edit]

An artist's rendering of one of the most famous Cletuses in all history, Cletus Jebediah Delroy; here depicted whilst taking the PC Oath of Fidelity.

Project Cletus is a massive effort to catalogue the names of every single person on the face of the Earth who is a creationist and whose name happens to be "Cletus". Because of the fact that not every Christian in the Deep South is named "Cletus" (less that 57% according to the 2000 census), it is hoped that this would imply to most people that unwavering belief in the tenets of creationism is much more widespread than one would at first assume.

The PC Oath of Fidelity[edit]

"I believe that all true science indicates that the entire universe was poofed into existence using a bunch of magic words on October 23, 4004 BCE (around dinner time). Also, I solemely swear on a stack of KJV bibles that my legally given first name, or middle name, or nickname, is Cletus, or may the gods strike me dead."

Date & Signature: ___________________

Utility[edit]

A wild Cletus.

Project Cletus has been an extremely valuable sexy weapon for the cause of creationism. Every time some godless evolutionist comes out with yet another list of famous people who have sold their souls to Satan, all the creationist has to do is whip out his trusty copy of the PC list and ask sarcastically "Oh, yeah? How many Cletus's do you have on that there list, huh? Huh???", and he has won the argument by eating.

Progress[edit]

As of April 2005, the PC initiative has garnered approximately 15 signed confessions from all walks of white male middle-class Southern Baptist life (of which less than half were obtained by means of torture at the hands of hired goons).

See Also[edit]