Proper techniques in dealing with Grue

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  • Die.
  • Scream and die.
  • Scream, struggle, and die.
  • Scream, struggle, and die a horrific death.
  • Run, scream, struggle, and die a horrific death.

One example of how to deal with Grues is shown here.

Some people recommend turning on the lights, as according to the legend this will cause the grue to 'melt away'. Clearly this course of action is futile and should not be undertaken by any means. For a start, it is logically impossible for a creature to 'melt away' on exposure to light, notwithstanding the Great Ice Creature of Neptune VII.

Further, as shown by Darwin, only mutated Grues which can survive light will survive, and eventually only these mutant Grues will be left, thus leaving the human populace with no weaponry to take them down.

Sacrifice yourself to a Grue today so your children can melt them tomorrow!

It is a little known fact that Grues like hearing haikus. Therefore reciting a haiku to a grue will extend your life by 17 syllables.


In Soviet Russia[edit]

Another alternative is to move to Russia. In Soviet Russia, you eat a Grue. It should be noted, however, that the Russian Grue is a subspecies of the common Grue.