Spin Doctoring

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Spin Doctoring is often utilised in cricket, as a means to give English people the belief that their team can actually win something. Englishmen like to lick balls.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Spin Doctoring.

“I consulted a Spin Doctor once when I had trouble down below. Told me everything would work out for the best. Thankfully I saw a Witch Doctor for a second opinion, and the Moose Semen medicine cleared everything up.”

~ Noel Coward on Spin Doctoring

Spin Doctoring is the art (or possibly science) of skewing the description of something widely perceived as a bad thing, such that it appears instead as probably quite a good thing, or at least not half as bad as it initially looked.

This is why Spin Doctors and Spin Doctoring are so important for the modern world; it enables the general populace to feel more positive about themselves and about their place in the world, thanks to superior Spin Doctoring enabling them to see the better points about the things in life that they might not actually approve of. Accomplished Spin Doctors are promoted to Spin Surgeons, but these are hard to identify because they have become so smart at distorting the perceptions of the rest of us. If one were ever identified and named, they would be instantly demoted, thus making the person making the claim look completely daft and unreliable.

How Spin is applied[edit]

Many wrongly believe that Spin is the result of telling what are known as "little white lies", but this couldn't be further from the truth; for example, whilst it might seem a bad thing for your local council to be levelling part of a national heritage forest to make way for a landfill site, you're simply forgetting that this will actually make space for all the additional garbage being produced that's currently having to be left to rot on the streets giving your children all sorts of untold diseases... which would be discontinued following this brilliant proposal! not to mention the extra cash the council are making for importing trash from the other districts.

Other people believe Spin is just another form of censorship, although this again is simply not true; Spin is a derivative work designed to allow people to see the other side of an argument and then to discount and in time forget the one they originally held to be true. Thus you are now beginning to see that Spin is plainly a good and necessary tool, and it is only the name that makes it sound like it could possibly be something that is bad for society; after all, you can make up your own minds anyway... we'll just help you along in reaching your decisions!

The Future of Spin[edit]

The future of Spin will be a marvelous thing, how could it be anything other? Experts in the field concur that modern techniques, as well as emerging technologies will go to improve our lives in many of the ways that Spin Doctors are currently suggesting, and reduce our capacities to even conceive of alternative viewpoints.

See also[edit]