Qaddafi is a falafel company located in the Shiny Happy Peoples' Republic of Libya. Qaddafi falafels have high amounts of uranium, although Qaddafi adamatly denies its existence. "We simply do not have any uranium" says three-eyed spokesman Mohammed Al-Salami. Memos on Iraqi attempts to buy Nigerian yellow cake also point to Libyan interest in yellow cake, preferably with chocolate icing.
Qaddafi Falafels was founded when it took over the former leading falafel company. It was a violent coup d'etat in which several falafels were brutally eaten. The leader of the coup was Colonel Muammar Qaddafi, who formerly ran a modest falafel stand at the Kansas State Fair, between Little John's Kettle Corn and Phineas' Phunnel Cakes. Qaddafi retained his Armed Food Services rank of colonel, a tactic common to food monopolies. Many experts claim that the political clout of Colonel Sanders in racist American policies inspired Qaddafi to retain his modest military rank. In order to convey the sense that he is the leader of the common man, Qaddafi refuses to use any other title that might appear to elevate him above others.
Qaddafi maintains several distribution centers in Afghanistan, Iran, and Syria. Qaddafi falafels are a favorite of terra-ist groups worldwide. Included in the new range, judged by Colonel Qaddafi himself for appealing to "the younger, hip, un-American demographic" include:
- The Libya-licious Low-Cal Falafel Wrap
- The Fuck America Chicken Kebab
- The We Love the Most Benevolent, Wise and Omnipotent Colonel Qaddafi Doner Kebab
- Jihad★Mart (the best place to buy Qaddafi