Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade

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Steve Nash - leader

The Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade (QSHB) is a band of radical Canadian separatists that advocate for the creation of an autonomous Quebec republic that would encompass Quebec, New York, and Japan. It grew out of earlier movements of Canadian nationalism that was confused with French snobbishness.

Early Movement[edit]

The beginnings of the Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade started in Montreal, Canada in 1963 with the creation of a small group of disgruntled French Canadians, prostitutes, and basketball superstar and occasional soccer player Steve Nash.

Founding of the Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade[edit]

By 1968, all the original members of the Canadians for French Rule group had died of STDs and cancer due to their constant screwing and smoking. Only Steve Nash remained.

Nash left Montreal and headed south to nearby SUNY Plattsburgh, a campus that had been a source of tension between Canada and the United States due to its location within upstate New York but founding by former Canadian Prime Minister John A. Macdonald. The basketball superstar and occasional soccer player Steve Nash decided this would be the place for revolution.

Masonic Lounge in 1968

Recruiting members of the campus's hippie population, Nash taught them the ways of violent revolution through the usage of hyperkicks to the head, amazing jumpers, and posing for GQ.

It is notable that none of the hippies at SUNY Plattsburgh cared about Quebec or separatism. They enjoyed listening to Nash's long rants on Canadian oppression, maple leaf production exploitation, and the preservation of a unique French Canadian cultural tradition that for some reason included Japan while they were stoned. Nash also supplied them with new techniques for making hemp necklaces.

March 1968 and the Masonic Lounge[edit]

Flag of the Quebec Hippies, who were too lazy to make their own flag so they just slapped a Hemp leaf on the Canadian flag.

On March 14, 1968 Nash gathered his group of about two hundred hippies and announced a takeover of the SUNY Plattsburgh Masonic Lounge. The building, made entirely of Molson bottles from the founding of the campus, was to be the site of the beginning of the "Great Quebec Revolution." Nash informed his discples that other actions were being planned around the world and that this action would kickstart the revolt.

Nash was obviously lying but also promised the hippies free pot if they would follow him. Two hundred hippies occupied the Masonic Lounge at 1:00pm and demanded recognition of the Greater Quebec Republic. These calls were met by indifference and apathy by the campus population until about 11:00pm.

That moment, several of the hockey players were coming home from a game and were extremely drunk. They decided to beat up the hippies, resulting in a campus wide riot that destroyed all the buildings and killed 400 people, including all the hippies. now the attack with dance music!!!!!! HIPPO!!!! hippo!!!!

Aftermath and Revitalization[edit]

Steve Nash escaped from the fires of SUNY Plattsburgh alive and well, returning to Montreal afterwards to continue his status as a basketball superstar and occasional soccer player.

Nash never abandoned his dreams of a Greater Quebec Republic and has attempted to forge an alliance with other separatist groups such as the Welsh Expansionalist Movement and the Chicken separatists. Little is known about the current status of the group, except the remaining few who joined the Neo-Separatists.