Quinton Flynn

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Quinton Flynn.

Quinton Joseph Flynn (known to friends and colleagues as "Q") (born October 10, 1964 in Cleveland, Ohio), is an American voice actor, actor and writer.

He is most notable for having inexplicably established a massive fan base of 28 people (as of June 16, 2008), according to his facebook group, "The Fans of Quinton Flynn". His life is full of many great adventures.

Early life[edit]

Flynn was born in a small room inside of a hospital somewhere. His parents were radical communists, and as such he spent most of his childhood living in an American internment camp. It was because of this that most of his childhood friends were Japanese. It was at this time, surrounded by foriegners, that his love-hate relationship with the Asian race began...

Failing in Theatre[edit]

Flynn has often been known as the "Other Beatle", despite him looking nothing like any of the Great Musicians. Nonetheless, all of his directors insisted on giving him the roles of British men. No matter how hard he tried he could not bring himself to have a British accent, and as such his directors signed him off as being a bad actor, after all, what British man can't do a British accent. And without being able to get a reccomendation from any of his directors, he came to the realizeation that he could no longer become a big time actor. His dreams were shot...or so he thought.

Rebirth of the Dream[edit]

There was once a great dictator. A man that planned to seize control of the entire world. That man's name was Walt Disney. In 1994 Disney began, once again, looking for pawns in his world domination agenda, selected Flynn, along with hundreds of other soon-to-be lackies. The 17 year old Flynn was much to young to be aware of the danger this man posed, and so agreed to help. Disney assigned Flynn to Operation Aladdin. Flynn was granted the codename "Merchant Number 3", and unwittingly wreaked much havoc on the free world.

And then something happened, or rather nothing happened. Disney, Flynn and the entire Evil Empire just disappeared. Flynn reappeared a few months later with severe amnesia. The free world, out of terror, offered him a job doing work similar to what Disney had him do. He took the job, was awesome at it, thus starting his voice acting career, and the rest is history.


Over time the roles that Flynn has performed in has taken a turn toward the foreign side. Flynn seemed to prefer performing in anime and video games rather than anything American. The reason behind this lies in his childhood, so if you want more information try reading the whole article, instead of just skipping down to here. Anyway, this subconscious fascination with Asians is what stimulated him to seek Japanese roles.

Past Roles[edit]

Flynn has had somewhere between 110 and 144 roles, far to many to list in full detail here (though I'm going to do it anyway). Most of his more memorable roles are redhaired men, or men with odd face deformities, but very rarely both. The following is a detailed list of all of his roles.

Merchant Number 3[edit]

I already went over this, what are you? retarded? He was a merchant in several episodes of the Aladdin television series in 1994.


A small time, B-rated villian from the children's action show "Street Sharks". He only appeared in two episodes. His name is a pun, a combination of "Eel" and "Evil". If you honestly needed me to explain that to you then I must reitterate; what are you? retarded?


Elliot was a damsmale in distress in one single episode of Freakazoid.

The Human Torch/Johnny Storm[edit]

He also played one of the main characters in the eighteenth television remake of the Fantastic Fore, which aired 26 episodes from 1994 to 1996, that's more than one episode a month! How do they do it!?!


From the Lion King's Tv spinoff "Timon and Pumba", which made even more impressive time altering magic airing 17 episodes over the span of two years. But that's not all, it was the SAME two years he spent doing the Human Torch's voice. The only explaination is that he used the demonic powers granted to him by Disney to literally be in two places at once.

Man in Pool[edit]

He made quite an appearance in that one episode of Hey, Arnold!. The credits have him listed as "man in pool" but in the episode he says his name is Oskar Kokoshka, thus proving that he can in fact do various accents, just not British accents.

Jonathan Quest[edit]

He played the title role in the series "The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest". A cartoon that aired 10 from 1996 to 1997, is anyone else seeing a pattern?

Mr. Fossey[edit]

That, however, is where the pattern seems to end, at least for a while. He played the role of Mr. Fossey, his first video game role, in the game Monkey Island 3-The Curse of Monkey Island.

About 80 Other Characters[edit]

Remember when I said that I would list in detail all of his past roles despite the sheer number of them? Well I lied! That's right, I betrayed your trust, get over it you freaking pansy!

Current Roles[edit]

The number of current roles that Flynn is filling is significantly less than his past roles. Not only that, but usually more recent things are more memorable than things that happened years ago. Notice that all of them are Japanese.

Iruka Umino[edit]

Iruka is a ninja teacher, not to be confused with the Ninja Professor. Iruka is quite possibly the least threatening ninja in the entire Naruto series, which is saying something considering his students, and the fact that the entire show is about growing up and passing the torch to the next generation, yaddity-yaddity, blah-blah, spew.


From the Bleach series, Kon is the name given to the artificially created soul that possesses a stuffed lion, thus creating the most perverted mass of cotton imaginable.


Got it Memorized?


From the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, the only Final Fantasy game that constitutes a series all of its own. Reno is a Turk, the branch of the Shin-Ra Corporation that deals with strategy.


Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty and Metal Gear Solid 4. Need I say more? Well, too bad!