Quorn

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Quorn. Eat at your own risk. It really isn't nice.

Popularly known as vegetarian junk, or fake meat; Quorn is in fact a pocket-sized English village. Unfortunately for vegetarians it actually means that when they are eating Quorn they are eating tea-drinkers, croquet-players and the odd chav.

How Can Vegetarians Eat Quorn Safely?[edit]

It is important for vegetarians to eat Quorn with the least risk of harm to themselves. They can acheive this by:

  • Speaking in the best english accent you can muster to integrate with the locals.
  • Distract the odd Chav with a buy-one-get-one-free offer on Burberry hats.
  • Remove croquet mallets from the villagers as it can be a very violent sport.
  • Tea can be very hot so add ice. Then tell them it is cool.
  • Scraping off the mass amounts of hardened black chewing gum on the ground, most everything within the Quornish school, and areas where the local adolescent hooligans chill out. This is a highly important procedure due to the lethal consequences of swallowing chewing gum, which is fertilised by enzymes found in the human stomach, forming a human gum hybrid creature that hatches by bursting the host's stomach open, spawning on a fearsome generation of sticky, curiously minty psychopaths that will dominate the world, as you well know.

Anagrams of Quorn[edit]

  • Roqun
  • Oqurn
  • Qronu
  • Runqo
  • Oven
  • Qonur
  • Unqor
  • Onqru

Lies[edit]

Quorn is made of mushrooms Honestly who would believe that? How many villages have you seen made of mushrooms? (Apart from where the smurfs live)

Quorn contains more protein than meat Nobody is Pro-teen in England. Everyone hates teens especially the hooded, binge-drinking variety, oh and ones that can't spell. (Protein- what appaling spelling)

Quorn is Nrouq backwards Nrouq backwards is two words consisting of lots more letters than the single 5-letter word that is Quorn.

You enjoyed this article You don't need to flatter me.