Qwertitis

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Qwertitis. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

Qwertitis(German - Qwertzitis) is the medical term given to the affliction whereby people spend a disproportionate amount of time on the computer and has hence been hitting the keyboard keys (defined by the QWERTY layout far too frequently. Websites that are known for bringing about severe attacks of qwertitis include google, myspace and uncyclopedia. Instant messaging services are also notorious causes of qwetitis

Symptoms[edit]

  • Bumps
  • Mumps
  • Lumps
  • Rump
  • Jumps
  • Curving of the fingers into a "typing" pose
  • Loss of feeling in all body parts other than arms and eyes

Cures[edit]

The big unplugging, disconnect the person from the world of the interweb and their regular range of motions should return, some withdrawal symptoms may be experienced, which can be swiftly dealt with by destroying (with a hammer or suchlike implement) all means of connecting to the interweb.