Racist math

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2+2=5, otherwise you'll be hanging from the town square tree tomorrow.

“Easiest way to add your minorities together.”

~ Oscar Wilde on racist math

Racist math is a unique form of math discovered in 1787, when the United States came to the conclusion that slaves were people multiplied by 3, but divided by 5. At the time, African-Americans did not know what 3 and 5 were (and it was illegal to shed light on the matter), so they did not argue. Racist math is still in use today.

The term "racist math" was first coined by Dr. Orenthal James Simpson when he discovered that most of the people who knew about math liked to race go-karts. Many rap and hip-hop have recently referenced racist math in such popular hits as "Two Plus Two Iz Fo'", "Sum Dat Apple Pi" and "All A Nigga Want Is A Square Root".

Ever since 1994, Dr. Simpson has been a highly acclaimed rascist mathematician ever since he helped discover the infamous glove conjecture. He and his fellow rascist mathematician Johnnie Cochran discovered that "If the glove don't fit. Then you must acquit". This equation has astounded other mathematicians ever since. None of them ever being able to come close to the same conclusion, but never the less. It is one of the most known, and well-used conjectures in modern rascist math.

Three-Fifths Compromise[edit]

“I actually typed BLACKx3/5! It equaled 79,922,700!”

~ NoahTheSlash on racist math and absence of a life

As the United States was growing as a nation and drafting policy, a debate sprung up over what to do with the high population of niggers. Benjamin Harrison proposed that black people should be divided by two and others believed they should be multiplied by 3, yet divided by 4. However, when several prominent mathematicians attempted to do the math, they found that the solution was mathematically incorrect. Seeing no apparent solution, the Second Continental Congress was at a loss.

Luckily, well known racists and mathematicians, James Wilson and Roger Sherman, proposed the proportion of multiplication by 3 with division by 5. Other experts in the field soon recognized its brilliance and formal proofs of the theorem followed quickly. The proportion was universally accepted throughout the country and worked into the Constitution. To celebrate, the 13 colonies went on a lynching rampage, with a casualty count of 1200 africans (Or 720 people).

Racist Math Major[edit]

After the great debate to find what black people were worth, a major in racist math was opened up at 10 universities across the United States, and having that major is now virtually a prerequisite to becoming a Nobel Peace Prize winner. In 2005, a substitue teacher introduced Racist Math to a trans-geometry class to try and help them learn, by giving them such problems as "6 nigger P" in which cause nigger of course means less then. Or you could reverse it and say, P white 6, meaning P is greater then 6.