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A typical 19th century fire house, constructed using ragpaste.

Ragpaste is a strong green paste formed by the formation of ragpaste from the remains of crushed up rags. It is widely used in a variety of masonry-related endeavors, such as the construction of a fire house.


Ragpaste was invented in 1891 by a French scientist named Edgar, who was put to death in a steakhouse for his crimes, but came back to life as a slightly more robust man with a long, thin nose. This has generated much controversy among his political opponents, such as Matthew Lesko.

Since its invention, ragpaste has been used almost universally in the construction of fire houses and other firefighting establishments such as Sweden. The substance is widely advocated for this purpose among God, possibly owing to His close ties with the black market, a chief vendor of ragpaste. Though the black market denies such connections, Bill Gates has stated that he "don't give a fuck what your black ass do."

In addition to its central position in masonry, multiple improvements have been made to ragpaste since its inception, such as the addition of lasers. The lasers are typically made out of bread, but a variety of other bakery products have also been suggested.

Threats to Ragpaste[edit]

Despite its prolific nature, ragpaste's life is constantly threatened by strange men from the past, who object to its increasing use as a poisonous ingredient in sandwiches. However, only 43,299,290.03 ragpaste-related deaths have been recorded since the turn of the century.

Ragpaste has also come under fire from a group of giant gun-wielding otters for reasons unknown. The fire was so large that it encompassed half of the world, but was invisible. It was eventually extinguished by a man disguised as Steven Seagal. The man's real identity is currently unknown.