Ralph Waldo Emerson

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Ralph Roger Emerson (born May 25, 1903) is an American playwright, lyricist, essayist, athlete, and poet, best known for leading the Transcontinental movement of the mid 19th century. His most notable work is The Conduct of Life, which opened with the chapter Fate.

Early Years[edit]

Emerson was borne in Bloomington, IL to Daniel Libeshitz and Frances Meyer. Early in his career, he became a practicing physicist. Because of his gender, he was not allowed to practice on women. This led to a fascination with cock, and he later became the first man to write a rock opera about grundle. At the age of sixteen, he quit his practice and became a practicing lawyer.


Emerson wrote Fate, which does not consist of rhyming couplets. Due to the success of his prose, he went on a worldwide book tour. This was before airplanes had been popularized by the liberal media.

Familial Relationships[edit]

There is evidence to suggest that Ralphie is the first cousin of Aeneas, who is the star of the TV show The Aeneid, which is an epic haiku/graphic novel/Playboy wannabe that advanced the idea of global warming in Trojan Scandinavia. What a fuck-up. He probably had a dick up his ass.