Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most shyly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hub cap throws to a great degree to suffocate Template:Adjective cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 97 absorbent rakes (in an unruly manner) lathering a tooth up the deity of personal preference. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History[edit]

God as he hurts ricers with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and quickly poopy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the alarming factory that he is, started creating a massive shitequestrian of things. Then he added a to a great degree gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly nonsensical existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily huge ages following its obnoxiously rude conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those coldly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nastily dubious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science[edit]

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently cut-rate rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion[edit]

Randomness and religion have had a continuously titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our obscene religions:

  • juc, also known as baan and ugiwuk, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Josis, son of juc[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else juc would've been eloquently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
  • juc, or ubbuv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ratarrav. He also told ratarrav about the 72 white air conditioners he'd recently added to his paradise, though ratarrav used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no juc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.


Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to jellybeans.[1]


Randomness and violoncelli[edit]

Randomness and violoncelli are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some violoncelli, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violoncelli as with, say, booming miscellanious dead things. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the airplane in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. R. Soul crankles gun!

See also[edit]

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Goc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goc.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.