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The Rastadon is a newly discovered species. Although people often confuse this long-extinct mammal with the more commonly known Mastodon, the Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion, though the validity of the last mentioned characteristic is often debated.

Physical Appearance[edit]

Rastadons look strikingly similar to Mastodons, so it is no surprise that the former is often mistakenly referred to as the latter. However, there are some key differences that will enable anyone to immediately tell the difference between the two. The largest and most noticeable difference is a large, colorful growth rooted to the top of the Rastadon's head. This portion of the anatomy is referred to as the Rastos Hattorus. Also growing out of the head, just beneath the Rastos Hattorus, are many long, black, tendril-like growths, individually referred to as Rastos Lockus, though collectively, they are commonly known as rasto-locks.


The Rastadon is among the first species who has evolved to the point where medicinal herbs have become part of their daily life, specifically used as a drug which they use to alleviate pain and discomfort, though they have also been seen using such practices for simple pleasure. Found near the Rastadon skeleton was a primitive tube-like structure which was likely used as a method of dessicating the herbs and then purifying the resulting odors, which the Rastadon uses in an ancient type of aromatherapy.


For a long time, the Rastadon was thought to have been completely extinct. However, there was recently discovered a single living member of this majestic, rare species. This Rastadon is currently under the protection and care of a private investigation firm, Blogosphere International, under whom the Rastadon is currently kept isolated to prevent unwanted sabotage. The company's website has not released any details on the Rastadon's current condition, and has not yet responded to questions, despite being repeatedly pestered via email. In response to the constant harassment, the company has filed a lawsuit on the author of this here article, whom would very much like your support by please donating to his paypal account. No? Worth a shot.


  • First discovered: February 3, 2007
  • Discovered by: Dr. Sir R. Walrus, PhD of Archaeological Science; in conjunction with Tom F. Ba of Medicine.
  • Discovered in: 50 miles N of Rastos, Nebraska.
  • Number of complete skeletons found to date: 1 (As of 2007)
  • Kingdom: Mammal
  • Scientific name: Mamut Rastadonis
  • Turn ons: Pistachio Ice Cream, Herbal Medicine, Large Hollow Plastic Figurines with pipes sticking out of them, Tacos
  • Turn offs: Regular Cigarettes, Donuts, Uniforms, Sirens, Evil Corporations and companies.