Really big text
“Back up a bit, pardner!”
~John Wayne on Really Big Text
“It's really big.”
~Captain Obvious on Really Big Text
"That's what she said!"
~Oscar Wilde on the previous quote
Really big text is mostly used on warning labels and music videos and was originally developed by the Ancient Egyptians for use on the sides of pyramids. Since then, really big text has become quite commonplace.
Really big text is a common device used to cause vision loss and blindness in really large books, such as an encyclopedia or the Bible. It proved very effective for many centuries in countries where the reading of the Bible or encyclopedias was required. It is also used by ClayPigeonSite to annoy you to the point of insanity.
In the field of Advertising, really big text is called the finest print, and is used by marketing experts to force you to read what they write. It works most of the time as you will see when you send me all your money.
If you believe you may have been affected by really big text, immediately drop what you are doing, and run around screaming in circles for several minutes. The damage to the eyes can also be remedied by immediate contact with salt. If the above two are unsuccessful, fall to your knees and pray to Allah or Jessica Simpson for salvation.