Resource

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Note: There is no spoon.

Resources are largely imaginary constructions of nerds's videogames the human mind. They are widely believed to not exist, or else depend on societies to exist. As Howitt teaches us, "They do not exist in some pre-ordained form, waiting to be discovered"

The dim dark past view - Resources as useful stuff[edit]

Resources, at least before the Germans got them, were thought to be good, because they were useful. They gave us food, water, and power, in order that we could be warmed, fed, and drunk. There is mounting evidence, however, that such resources were largely invented by The Empire Imperialism, and, by association, were thus responsible for the existence of slavery, exploitation, and Norah Jones. A look at language through the tiresome work of sociologists has shown us that the word "resource" is an english word, and is thus used only in English speaking countries. Fifty years later, a development was made on this insight when it was realised that "resource", being an english word was not used in non-english speaking countries. The discovery the word "science" was also an English word added to this controversy, and led to its rejection in resource management circles. In its place, it was proposed that Westerners assuage their guilt by adopting a feel-good approach that is totally unselfish, altruistic and moral, in stark contrast to science, which has supported known instances of killing people randomly just for the hell of it.

Current view, resources as an illusion[edit]

However, it is widely recognised now that this original view was misguided. Resources, in fact, are a projection of our active sexual imagination, created through Masturbation. It is widely recognised that resources exist, in fact, to produce political power rather than anything that we could, you know, eat, and stuff. Because we all know that capitalism is evil, connecting people to each other through exchanges of goods and services always leads to great social, ecological and cultural costs for the local population - which is worse than killing babies. In this view, old-style resource managers deliberately ignore the human cost of their actions, since they hate everyone who isn't white, are selfish and wish to rule the world forever. It is thus that the most common remedy for these heinous acts of thoughtcrime (apart from feeling intense guilt, inadequacy, and self-loathing) is to start a revolution in which everything would be bright and happy again and no one would ever suffer.

Where to for resources?[edit]

Since using or thinking incorrectly about resources is an incredibly evil activity, we should all stop it immediately. Moreover, as long as we continue to use english words such as 'resources', we will continue harming people a lot. Thus:

  • We ought to ignore anything related to science
  • We should stop thinking in english words
  • Don't do whatever we're doing at the moment (Any alternative is better than this)
  • Start speaking gibberish, or _+_++____++++

Remember, if you're hungry, it is probably due to the lack of food you have. However, you could just be imagining this if you consider food a pre-existing resource. It wouldn't be food if you didn't eat it, so don't eat it and you won't be hungry!

Like the area of resource management, this page is under constant social construction.