Reverend Jeremiah Wright
“Reverend Wright doesn't care about White people!”
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.”
“No, No, No, GOD DAMN Jeremiah Wright!”
Rev. Jeremiah Wright
Rev. Wright is a radical unicyclist also known as Rev. Wrong. He is also a minister in Trinity United Church of Christ and a disciple of martyred black leader Liberace,founder of Black Liberace Theology, who taught him to be descriptive, not divisive,that the music of the great black composer Chopin should be accented on 2 and 4,how to light candles and how to cry all the way to the bank. Former President Bill Clinton once provided him free drugs after which, Wright showed Clinton his thong panties and allowed Wright to perfom oral sex on him, after which Clinton confessed to him that he was the government agent who infected Liberace with the HIV virus.When Clinton forced him to commit various crimes,he then came to a more profound understanding of Liberace's teachings and ceased to worry about the whereabouts of America's chickens.He spends most of his time making blasphemous, yet rather hilarious remarks about the U.S. and its racism toward blacks (honestly, I just don't see it!) Wright has one volume setting: LOUD MAD NEGRO!
LEAGUE OF SUPER FRIENDS
Barry O'Bama, Rev. Jerimiah Wrong, Billy Ayers, Osama Benjamen Laden ...and the Green Lantern. (the black one, of course)
Although Rev. Cunt ass is often accused of being an anti-white racist, some of his best friends are self-flagellating guilty white liberals.
Barack Obama is secretly Wright's illegitimate son, which he had with Oprah Winfrey. They plan to start a new sort of "Black-Surpremist Union" under the White House, with his heavy support of the NAACP.The Master Plan was, however scuttled when Obama came to his senses and threw him under the bus. The bus was severely damaged by Wright's thick skull.
Rev. Wright's congregation sufferes severe hearing loss due to severe microphone feedback and the profane language. He insists it's the Rick Astley records they play later in the service. The actual cause of this mass hearing loss is yet to be determined. It is suspected by some to be deafness to reason.
Rev. Wright's church community sponsors various community activities, such as youth dancing lessons, medical marijuana distribution, and grass-roots political activism and is also well known for his, um, unique perspective having once commented that middle-aged white woman Hillary Clinton "ain't never been called a nigger".
Rev. Wright's Church History
In 1984, Oprah heard of a pastor in the Chicago slums who was in serious need of emotional support. Oprah, ever the philanthropist, promptly moved to Chicago and joined Wright's church, hoping to offer Wright some help. After attempting various rehabilitative techniques, she left his church in the mid-90's, calling Wright a "hopeless bum" and saying "I've moved on." Having abandoned her weird, mentally ill pastor, she now focuses her efforts on her weird, mentally-ill fans.
Rev. Wright and Culture
Revered Wright has views some people would say are absolutely correct.
“The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color. The government lied.”
“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes three-strike laws and wants them to sing God Bless America. No! No No! God **** America … for killing innocent people. God **** America for threatening citizens as less than humans. God **** America as long as she tries to act like she is God and supreme.”
“Hillary is married to Bill, and Bill has been good to us. No he ain’t! Bill did us, just like he did Monica Lewinsky. He was riding dirty.”
“Fact number one: We’ve got more black men in prison than there are in college. Fact number two: Racism was founded by Chuck Norris”
Wright actually suggests that America hates black culture (and once again, I'm just not seeing it here).
The Reverend has a large group of followers, in both the NAACP and Black Churches.
"Jeremys mah homz!! He gave the best baby recipe ever!" -Anonymous
Despite his hate for white people, his son, Barack Obama, seems fascinated by double-D breasts on white women. (Which according to the Black Bible; Lashante 20:12 - "If any black man stares at a white woman lustfully, he shalt be excommunicateth and have thy penis removed.")
Did you know that?
- Rev. Wright is both different AND deficient?
- Rev. Wright is Rush Limbaugh's black half brother.
- Rev. Wright's ego is big enough to be seen from the International Space Station?
- Rev. Wright has a secret weapon, his cuteness & WordGirl?
- Rev. Wright hates Jews?
- Rev. Wright hates rich, Jewish people?
- Rev. Wright may be Hitler's love child?
- Rev. Wright is making history?
- he is doing so by rewriting history books?
- That Capcom was originally going to make "Rev. Wright: Pissed Preacher" but the project was scraped when test groups showed he made the children of rich white people cry?
- Rev. Wright doesn't wear a flag pin?
- Rev. Wright discovered Jesus was black?
- Rev. Wright and Fred Phelps were gay lovers?
- Rev. Wright might have harmed the Obama campaign?
- Rev. Wright wishes we were still fighting World War II?
- Rev. Wright is the other black man in Hillary's life?
- Rev. Wright thinks the government is competent enough to pull off a conspiracy?
- Rev. Wright is a shape shifting space alien?
- Rev. Wright is not a member of the Christian Coalition for Hydroelectric Power whose official slogan is "God *** America"
- This article may still need work and you can help it by vandalizing Wikipedia?