Richie Rich

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Richie Rich rocking out to his fave band, Rush.

Richie Rich AKA Snowcaps McGee was a powerful affluent gentleman, and inventor of Snowcaps.

Early Years[edit]

Richie was born Richard D. James, in Greenborough, NC in the year 1929. As a Child his parents were killed in the clone war, leaving Richie sole heir to the James fortune, and adamant robot hater. He only hated adamant robots, those being the ones made of adamantium. As the clone wars raged on, richie wisely invested his dead parents money in numerous successful ventures such as:

Archie and Jughead's Necropheliacs Weekly

Dick Wood's DickStick

OK Soda

With the incredible success of these products, especially that of OK Soda Which was proven to cure both cancer and Harry Potter Syndrome, a problem which had plagued the country during the clone wars, Richie took his assets and poured them all into the clone wars.

Adulthood and Snowcaps[edit]

As a rich, powerful adult, Richie teamed up with nobel prize winning scientist Ian Malcolm, in hopes of developing a weapon that would end the clone war. For three endless years they toiled in the basement of Richie's castle, combining everything from Richard Gere and goat cheese, to a toy piano and the AIDS virus. The final result was a mysterious combination of dark chocolate, unicorn feces, and an unknown red substance which they named Snowcaps, after Richie's dead, dead father.

In addition to being extremely explosive, Snowcaps were made to be incredibly mouthwateringly irresistable and delicious.

A Snowcap. Notice how hungry you are getting.

Sadly, Dr. Ian Malcolm was the first victim to the ungodly power of the Snowcap, when he took the first whiff of the weapon, and crammed it into his mouth, instantly blowing his head off. The blast also severely injured Richie, forcing him to adopt the trademark hideous mask which he wears to this day.

End of the clone wars[edit]

The Snowcaps ended the clone wars. Those greedy robots did not in fact find the Snowcaps delicious. In the development phase, Ian Malcolm had neglected the fact that robots possess neither mouths or stomachs, and thereby would have no reason to find the candy scrumptious. But fate had it's lovely hand on Ian's groin that day, and rather than becoming hungry, the Snowcaps made the robots very horny. Consider this diagram:

Robots:Snowcaps :: You:Jessica Alba

The robot's insaciable lust drove them crazy. Every robot had sex with a SnowCap, blowing their robot genetalia to high heaven. This made the robots unfit for reproduction causing them to die out in a matter of weeks. Finally, Richie was happy, and to celebrate he payed God an undisclosed sum to bring his friend, Ian Malcolm back to life. Also in this deal, he haggled his favorite band Rush out of the inevitable damnation that they would all face when they met their makers. To thank them, they wrote 'roundabout', the song which is still considered to be the most beautiful piece of art ever created.