Ringo Needs Some Money
|Ringo Needs Some Money|
|Album by The Beatles|
|Released Date||April 30th, 1982|
|Record label||MPL Communications|
|Oscar Wilde review||5/5 - "We're all being spied on!"|
|The Rolling Stones review||3/5 - "Too bad for Ringo, but Lennon and McCartney are the only ones who deliver decent sound on this one."|
|George Bush review||0/5 - "Lennon and Starkey are obviously on drugs. The U.S. doesn't spy on anyone."|
|Ringo Needs Some Money|
“Man, I just need the cash. I could sure use a little help from my friends....anybody?”
“Money for rope, money for dope.”
“Now give him money! That's what he wants!”
“In Soviet Russia, Money needs RINGO!”
“GO BACK TO BED, OLD MAN.”
In the mid 1980's, Ringo Starr was broke. Years of frivolous spending had come to its logical conclusion, as Ringo spent all his remaining money on a giant athropomorphic train set. Even Pete Best had more money than Ringo (but, admittedly, no train set). Then, when things looked their darkest, in came a rescue for Ringo's money problems. Paul McCartney and George Harrison agreed to do an album with Ringo only if he would bathe and leave their front yards. Most of the songs on this album are previously unreleased Beatles songs, but some songs like McCartney's "I'll Never Go To Japan Again" and Harrison's "My Sweet Clapton" were written just for this album. Even the late John Lennon contributed to the album with "The Ballad of Ringo Starr". This song was written during the week John Lennon felt like writing songs about people and naming them ballads. Starr was reported of wanting to put "The Ballad of Paul McCartney" on the album, but McCartney refused due to half the song calling him a pussy. How they got these rare Lennon recordings was really amazing. Ringo had to distract Yoko Ono by letting her kick him in the balls while George and Paul sneaked through the back door.
This story is from Ringo's own personal account, and it is unclear whether or not the bit about George and Paul going through the back door was a euphemism or not.
Chart Success and Controversy
Ringo Needs Some Money was initially a failure, overwhelmingly the worst in the whole Beatles history. It failed to chart in the US or Great Britain. Experts weren't expecting it to chart in Japan, due to McCartney's song "I'll Never Go To Japan Again". Because of this, some clever producer dropped that track from the Japanese release. Then, after an intense month of much hyping and advertisement, the album failed to crack the Japanese Top 200. In fact the only country that the album charted in the first month of its release was Poland.
Some critics of the album praised The Beatles for their extravagant experimenting with electric equipment in Ringo Needs Some Money. Paul McCartney and George Harrison colaborated for the entirely silent 2-second song Insert Song Title Here. For "Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta", John took a bass guitar and struck the A minor 7 chord repeatedly while repeating the word "gotta" for six minutes. Roger Ebert himself declared the song to be his favorite track in the album. Another song that really stood out was "LSD", which was a techno/electronica remix of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. People complained initially because they claimed that all four Beatles could be heard mumbling incoherently in the background, probably due to having taken LSD just as the song began to be recorded. However, a closer study of the song confirmed that it was actually Yoko Ono singing.
The U.S. government, respecting the people's freedom of expression and freedom and speech, banned John Lennon's song "I'm Being Spied On" from being played in radio or television stations. This only made more people want to listen to it, and as a result, Ringo Needs Some Money immediately shot to number 1 and stayed there for 12 weeks until it was knocked off by 50 Cent's album Songs About Bitches and Hoes.
Paul and Ringo wrote a song entitled Nixon to sarcastically thank the government for being so paranoid and helping Ringo get his money after all. Unfortunately for Ringo, as "I'm Being Spied On" WAS credited to Lennon, most of the money went to John and his wife Yoko Ono, who immediately blew all the money on an all black painting with a little white stripe in the lower left. Yoko claimed that it expressed being alone, but at the same time, feeling surrounded. She then felt rather silly after it was revealed that the white stripe turned out to be old stale gum.
Ringo used his part of the money to buy himself a home in Iran and spent an entire summer with his family swimming, and drinking Kool-Aid by the beach. The U.S. government received reports of his whereabouts and took the house away from him, claiming that it was a storage site for weapons of mass destruction. Ringo, now dispossessed, was imprisoned for a month as many American authorities thought he was linked to Osama bin Laden. The house was later found to nothing but an old apartment building where George Clooney and Matt Damon played cards during the filming of Syriana. Ringo and his family were flown back to England, and were forced to take up residence at a Motel. John Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono began criticizing the government for once again bringing Ringo serious financial trouble. When the couple began calling for an end to the war with Iraq, the government accused them of obstructing the law and justice, as well as the space-time continuum. After raging riots, protest albums from Lennon (such as Border Walls And Bridges), and assassination attempts, the battle between the U.S. and John Lennon continues. Lennon has recently issued a court order against the government for deleting his Myspace account. The U. S. has filed a countersuit, claiming that Lennon should in fact be dead. The case The U.S. versus John Lennon will begin proceedings in the Supreme Court next year.
- Ringo You're a Bum (McCartney-Harrison) 3:25
- My Sweet Clapton (Harrison) 4:05
- Cash (Starkey) 4:23
- Live or Let Run (McCartney) 3:25
- The Ballad of Ringo Starr (Lennon) 2:58
- Pennyless (McCartney) 5:02
- Living On Cold Crusty Sandwiches (Starkey) 4:58
- LSD (McCartney-Lennon) 9:09
- Pepper's Blues (McCartney-Lennon) One After 9:09
- I'll Never Go To Japan Again (McCartney) 3:42
- If You Had the Luck of the Ringo (You'd Be Sorry and Wish You Were Dead) (Lennon) 3:17
- I'm A Starr But Not A Star (Starkey) 1:59
- Lift The Ban On My John Sinclair Song (Lennon) 5:50
- I'm Being Spied On (Beware Americans in 2006) (Lennon) 4:25
- Insert Title Song Here (McCartney-Harrison) 0:02
- Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta (Lennon) 6:56
- Darn It Yoko (Get A Life) (McCartney-Harrison-Starkey) 7:20
- If You Are Listening To This I Am Dead (Lennon) 0:20
- Woman is the Ringo of the World (Lennon) 4:22
The 2006 Re-mastered edition included a second CD, which contains a tremendously long medley of unreleased songs from the recording sessions of the original Ringo Needs Some Money.
- Medley: Very Long Filler Song
- Money, Money, Money (Starkey, Waters, Gilmour, Wright, Mason, and some other guy) 7:19
- Yellow Submarine Edit Remix #12 (Lennon) 14:30
- Let's Make This A Double Album (It'll Be Twice The Price!) (Starkey) 20:03
- Filler (Starkey) 12:16
- Give It A Rest Ringo (Zappa) 25:12
- Running Out Of Song Titles (Starkey/McCartney) 9:23
- Yellow Submarine Again (Lennon) 15:31
- Only A Northern Silly Love Song (McCartney/Harrison) 6:13
- Don't Pass Me By Again (Starkey) 2:54
- Filler (Reprise) [Starkey] 0:30
NOTE - "Nixon" will be released in Paul McCartney's next album, I'll Never Play in China Again. Dick Cheney has stated that not only will he ban the song in the U.S., but is also planning to take McCartney hunting and "accidentally" shoot him. Asians have accused McCartney of racism for not wanting to go to their countries.