Ritual

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The Greater Seal of Solomon

Any act repeated a specific way to achieve a specific goal, be it physical or esoteric.

For example; knocking on wood to drive off misfortune; brushing and flossing your teeth to prevent tooth disease; sacrificing a human child to ensure a good harvest; these are all rituals.

The Specific time-wasting done by people with nothing to look forward to in life, often involving the sodomisation and slaughter of animals, not necesserily in that order. People who are involved in rituals can be identified by 3 simple things:

1. Animal semen is often stuck to their clothes and skin

2. They buy animals in large amounts, and then the animals seem to disappear

3. The slaughter and rape of animals in public is noticeable

Example Ritual[edit]

There is also a lot of not so famous rituals. For example the "convert to german" ritual. Also called "the think twice" ritual in some communions. It involves rusty knifes, mud and the beer "k├Âlsh".

Opening the Circle: Enter the pre-defined ritual clearing, walking widdershins around the circumferance of the circle (or ovoid if restricted for space). Sprinkle a line of salt as you follow the path (this is to define your "workspace" and deter attacks from Chaos Slugs).

Return to the Center. Acknowledge the Elementals of the five Quarters, Megatron, Michael Bolton, Bennie, Uriel and Azrael.

Face East and invoke: "All Hail the Guardian of the East, Lord of the Air, Blow me"

Face South and invoke: "All Hail the Guardian of the South, Lord of the Flame, May I be Hot"

Face West and invoke: "All Hail the Guardian of the West, Lord of the Wave, May I be Damp"

Face North and invoke: "All Hail the Guardian of the North, Lord of Earth, May I be as Hard as Stone"

Make sacrifice/Meditate/Levitate/Whatever.

Close down the circle and make it home in time for tea.