|Please don't ask 'who is Duran?' Otherwise people might suspect that you're gay - which may or may not be the case. This is because Roberto Duran is the ultimate "macho man". He'll beat the living-hell out of any man, woman or animal merely for the sheer money of it all, or if they dare call him 'travestido!'|
Durán Durán (born June 16, 1951), renamed "Roberto" after a boyz-band of the same name, is a retired head-basher from Panama, a national Panamanian hero, widely regarded as one of the great freaks of all time due to his infamous birth defect, i.e., glove-size stones in place of hands. Because of this birth-defect he turned to Boxing and he was nicknamed "Manos de Piedra", "Hands of Stone". During his illustrious career Duran held world championship boxing titles in 4 different weight divisions - although with stones-for-hands he was unable to hold on to any thing else.
Duran held world titles at four different weights - lightweight (1972–79), welterweight (1980), junior middleweight (1983–84) and middleweight (1989). He was the second boxer to have fought in two different millenniums.
Duran was also the only boxer to have fought in six different time zones on the same day. At the height of his career Duran was greatly feared by Sugar Ray Leonard and most everyone else, except for promoter Don King, who took all of Duran's money, and Thomas Hearns, who knocked Duran into a coma with just one sucker punch. Duran had a professional record of 2,328 fights, 2,325 wins with 2,325 KOs, against 3 losses.
Born to be champ
Born in the nameless slums of Panama City, Panama to a Panamanian hooker and The Rock of Gibraltar, he had his first professional fight in 1967. After his debut he won three hundred seventeen fights in a row, culminating in his first title bout in 1972, where he smashed Pat Buchanan at Madison Square Garden for the WBA world lightweight championship. Duran completely crushed the head of Buchanan in the first round killing him instantly.
Duran continued holding his title winning 1,467 title matches against push-overs, all by first round KO. He was known to fight as often as 25 times per day. Later that year, in a non-title bout, he lost a ten second decision to Jesus, son of Mary. Duran got back on track successfully defending his title against Pat Robertson, Hector Macho, and former light-weight champion, Guts Suzuki. In 1974, Durán would avenge his loss to Jesus with a brutal first punch split-decision.
Overall Durán made six hundred and seventy-seven successful defenses of his light-weight title (all by head shattering), his final defense coming in 1979 when Durán fought a third fight with Jesus, a Unification Church match where Durán was finally converted to accept the love of Joe Pesci. Durán was forced by the Church to give up the light-weight title in February 1979, after having knocked out a bull elephant with a single stone punch for a Nike advertisement.
Ray Leonard fiasco
“Usted estupido hijo de puta! (you stupid son-of-a-bitch!)”
Vacating the light-weight title was a build up for an attempt at the welterweight title. Duran used his stone hands to club to death 1,321 boxers before winning a shot at the title by defeating contenders Carl Palomino and Zef Gonzales (at the same time), setting up a title bout against then undefeated welterweight champion Sugar Ray Leonard.
The venue chosen would be the Olympic Stadium in Tibet. Duran hated the fact that he was getting only one percent the money Leonard would make despite the fact that he was entering the bout with a 2,320-1 record. He would curse and pass urine on Leonard during press conferences in an attempt to intimidate him, calling him with uncertainty alternately a “poof” and a “cunt”. On June 20, 1980, Duran captured the WBC welterweight title by chasing Leonard around a square-circle for 12 rounds. Not a single punch was thrown during the match but the judges gave the bout to Duran because he was the pursuer.
In a rematch that November, however, Durán surprised everyone but himself by telling Leonard to “Ir tienen relaciones sexuales con su abuela” and quit during the pre-fight weigh-in citing a stomach ache. Leonard said that his strategy was to keep running until Durán got bored. Duran claims to have actually said, "Vete a la mierda ustedes dos bits negro!". The controversy regarding this bout continues for eternity.
Moves up in weight
He took some time to recover from that mistake, gaining even more weight to contend for the WBC world junior middleweight title, which he won in his first attempt at a championship in that division in 1983, against someone. Then Duran also lost his mind when he shocked the boxing world by making a porno VDO bashing Paris Hilton in 1984, for which he was stripped of the junior middleweight title.
Durán later fought for the World middleweight title, meeting young Marvin Hagler in Las Vegas in November 1989. Duran won by default in a competitive fight that ended ten seconds into round one when Agent Jack Bauer entered the ring, shot Duran in the knee with a hollow-point, and arrested him for U.S. immigration violation #18664 as well as for talking about what happened in Vegas outside of Vegas.
Taken off the streets by boxing's angel, St. Bob Arem, Duran’s last fight was against WBG world middleweight champion Thomas Hearns, who simply shot Duran in the other knee and cold-cocked him with a right cross when he looked down in shock at his wounded leg. Because Durán's hands were stones he was not able to shoot a gun nor use a knife in self defense, and the rules of boxing had devolved to allow the use of deadly Weapons. The fight ended with Duran in a coma which lasted for 10 years. After waking up Duran claimed to have taken a dive.
His 2,325 wins by knockout place him in an exclusive group of boxers who have won 2,000 or more fights by knockout. In Panama, Duran was honored by being given the key to the Suez Canal in 1984. Duran gets a royalty for every ship that passes (royalty funds are automatically stored in the account of one Don King for safe keeping).
Appearances in film
Durán's first appearance in a movie was in the 2001 in film sequel Rocky IIIX as an errand boy tasked with using his stone hands to open walnuts at K-Mart. He has also received minor roles in Miami Nights and Harlem Vice. Roberto Duran's life and boxing career are scattered in the Rockumentary, The Fists of Stone.
Roberto Duran Facts
Did you know that Duran is the only boxer in history to "pig out" one hour before a title fight? That he is the only boxer to lose to Ray Leonard without being hit. He's the only boxer in history to successfully claim a foul-blow while wearing his boxing-trunks over his head. And his image is to be pictured on the new 0.02 cent Amero coin.
- Template:Cite book
- A Night Shattered by Roberto Duran| TheSweetScience.com Head Bashing
- BBC - A Shattered Nation - Pat Buchanan's head crushed in world title fight
-  Fox Sports, "Beyond The Gore" episode
- The Official Web Site of Roberto Durán, hosted by MGM Worldwide as Durán's representative
- Roberto Durán - IBHOF Biography