Robot Bears

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Robot Bears.

Floyd and Drew[edit]

Sadly dead now, the robot bears Floyd and Drew were created during the sixth season of America's Funniest Home Videos in a attempt to make Bob Saget happy. However, upon seeing him both bears opted to jump in a tub of water and shock themselves to death so they would not have to suffer Saget's dry absent wit.


Created by the Soviets, Robot bears where designed to (what else?) fight the forces of capitalist imperialism, the first robot bears where large, slow things powered by fission reactors. They can serve the dual perpose of gathering lumber, construction, and battle (their most effective weapon is the ability to scare the sh!t out of people).

The first Robot bear was built in 1987, by then the Berlin Wall fell so the bears where rendered obsolete, now these early versions roam free in the Siberian forrests and serve as symbols of national pride, as well as lucritive tourist attractions.

NATO immediately got interested and began it's own programs, building smaller, faster, and tougher bears that can corner their targets and morph into horrific machines of death (See: Transformers). They are also useful in digging and then depositing waste for companies that frankly do not give a toot about those hippies and their environment