Robot Buddha

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Robot Buddha. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Robot Buddha[edit]


Robot Buddha was activated in December of 2003 by the 9th Second Coming Project. After numerous attempts to bring back Jesus in clone, robot, lizard, and marshmallow form, the Scientists of the Second Coming Project gave up and decided to cause the Second coming of Mohammed instead. His first commandment to them was to create Robot Buddha to reign in his stead.


Robot Buddha is 2670 cubits high and built from solid gold, with a diamond the size of Boston in his forehead. This has contributed to his status as the most-stolen deity in the history of the world. However, he always manages to find his way back to his ancestral home in the crumbling ruins of the Vatican.


His teachings are basically that same old crap about peace and love, but more people listen to him because he's made of gold. Robot Buddha is also good at teaching 19th century poetry, critical literary analysis, and math. He does not, however, teach gym, EVER.

Nicknames and Food Preferences[edit]

RB, as he is affectionately known by his followers, is fond of WD-40, particularly over rice.


Robot Buddha has been the subject of over 17000 feature films, often appearing with his buddy Giant Banjo-playing Napoleon Bonaparte. Notable ones include Camels of Fire(2007), for which RB himself was nominated for a best subject Oscar, and Robot Buddhaspell(1842), which depicted RB as a 16th century French Hippie. Robot Buddha also makes a cameo appearance in the 1965 movie King Kong v. Superman.


RB is an avid chess fan. In his proudest moment, he ate 17 chess sets in one day, 26 Oct 2005.

His favorite Sting album is Brand New Day

In addition to Robot Buddhism, he is a fan of all other religions except the Smoonies.

Has a rare verbal tic, he says 'Befuddling, isn't it?' at the end of every sentence.

Wears size 'Robot Buddha' sandles (equivalent to the nonexistant size 3 x 10^14).

Enjoys Cough Drops