Roswell, New Mexico

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Roswell is a city located in sovereign nation of Chaves County in the southeastern quarter of the New Mexico. As of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 45,293. 20,000 of which are native Yeti, with the remaining population consisting mainly of migrant workers and lost coyotes. The national pastime in Roswell is competing in the annual pre-teen pregnancy competitions.

In the early 1930s Roswell became the staging ground for the invasion of New México City by the Yetis that had yet to find the promised land after Col. Mustard crushed Atlantis with a really, really big candlestick. The primary figurehead of this invasion was Robert Goddard.

After creating the worlds largest weatherballoon, Goddard and his loyal followers invaded White Sands Missle Range, but were counterinvaded by the Mayans hiding in the secret base now known as the Roswell Army Air Field. Upon Goddard's return from successfully annexing El Paso into the New Mexican Empire, the Mayans ambushed him, and kept the Yeti population in the Hanger 18 concentration camp.

The final fate of Goddard is unknown, because the Mayans hired Elvis Impersonators to distract anyone that came looking for him. They do this by driving visitors to any nearby field to supposedly show them where Aliens crashed.because some dumbass was smoking crack

Things that are buried in Roswell[edit]


Rex Humbard

Chevy Chase


Your Mom

Three caballeros the movie that is.

Major Shaw also known as Chuck Norris' Dad!


The votes for Al Gore from the 2000 election. George Bush still remains adamant that "I would've won even if I didn't do it... Not that I did it of course"