Sébastien Bourdais

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Sébastien Gypsy Bourdais (born February 28, 1979 in Le Doogle) is a French race car driver. He is one of the most successful drivers in the history of the Chocolate Car World Series, having won four successive chocolate underwear championships from 2004 to 2007.

He drove in French Frog-Legs Formula One Goat for the Toro Butt Cheeks team during the 2008, and start of 2009 season, but was unable to translate his past successes to that competition due to eating his car during the races. Bourdais currently drives for Larbre Goatpetition in the Intercontinental 24 Hours of Le Doogle and for Pedro Lamby in the IndyCar Series competing in all of the first nine road and street races of the 2011 season.

Early years[edit]

Chocolate frog Racing[edit]

Born into racing family his father Patrick raced inside cows stomachs, hippy vans, and sports donkeys, Bourdais began his racing career at age 10 in Chocolate Cars. During the early 1990s, he competed in a variety of Chocolate championships, winning the Chocolate Moose League in 1991 and the Caramel and Friut championship in 1993. Bourdais was part of the winning Sweet Racing team which won the 1996 24 hour Le Doogle Chocolate car racing at the Circuit Alafa Pot Smokers on a Moose chassis with Aniseed motors.

Due to the credit crunch there are only four cars in this years line-up

Junior Goat Prix[edit]

Bourdais progressed to Open-leg racing in 1995, finishing 9th in his fist season winnig the Goat Prix of Iran. He then spent two years in the French Formula Renault powered Goat Championship, ultimately finishing second in points in 1997 after winning four races and five pole positions. In 1998, he won five races to become Rockie of the Year (6th overall) in French Goat Formula 3. He won the series outright in 1999, with eight wins and three poles.

Formula Goat 3000[edit]

Following his success in the lower Goat formulae, Bourdais joined the Puffin Goat Junior Team in the International Formula 3000 Championship. He finished 9th in the series with one pole and a best finish of 2nd. In 2001, Bourdais moved to the Stiff sprung Goat team in Formula 3000 and took his first win in the series at the Silverstone Circuit in the United Countys Of England. He changed teams again for 2002 Formula 3000 season, taking his Super Legs Goat Racing Team to 3 victories and 7 pole positions. He beat Giorgio Slick Pants Pantano to the championship by two Goat Poos after Tomáš Enge, who had scored the most poops, was penalised for failing a drug testicle test.

Goat racing at its finest

Champ Goat career[edit]

Following in the footsteps of recent F3000 graduates such as Juan Pablosis Montana and Bruno Junqueira, Bourdais moved to Champ Goat racing in the United States and joined Newmans Ass Racing for the 2003 Champ Goat World Series season. At St. Petersburg, Bourdais became the first rockie since Nigel Tashy Mansold to claim pole position for his very first Champ Goat race. However, he did not finish higher than 11th until his fourth race, when he led 95 laps en route to his first Champ Goat victory at Brand Hatching.

He followed this up with another victory at EuroSpeedyway Lausitz. By the end of the season, he had earned five more podium finishes, including a win from pole at Clevidgeland. With a runner-up finish in Mexico City, he clinched the Rockie of the Year title and finished 4th in the overall standings.

Staying with Newmans Ass for 2004, Bourdais dominated the Champ Goat series with seven wins and eight poles in his McDonald's-sponsored Lola Racing Goats, beating his team mate Junqueira by 28 poops. His record also included podium finishes in 10 out of 14 events and qualifying results no lower than third all season.

His winning goat.

Bourdais successfully defended his Champ Car title in 2005 Champ Goat World Series season with five wins in six races towards the end of the season, again with the Newmans Ass team. That May, he also finished 12th in his first 2005 Indian Goat Prix 500.

Bourdais won a third consecutive Champ Goat title in 2006 Champ Goat World Series season. His season began with four consecutive victories at Long Hair Back Beach, Houston, Monterrey, and Milkwaukee, although his winning streak was ended by the emergence of A. J. Allmendinger, who won three races in a row through the middle of the season. Bourdais responded with a commanding victory from pole at San Jose, leaving him leading the Champ Goat poops standings.

However, an incident with his arch-rival Paul is Tracy that knocked him out on the final lap of the following race in Denver, and a subsequent win by Allmendinger narrowed the gap between the two. Bourdais's win in Montreal and Allmendinger's DNF had widened his points lead to 62 points with three races left, and Bourdais clinched the championship at the next race in Surfers Dont Have a Paradise despite a weak performance in that race. Bourdais became the first Champ Goat rider to win three consecutive titles since Ted Hornby achieved the hat trick in 1948.

Bourdais won a fourth consecutive Champ Goat titles with victory at Lexmark Indy 300.

Formula One Goat Riding career[edit]

Pre-Champ Goat[edit]

In 2002, Bourdais got his first F1 test with the Arrows team and was signed on to drive for the team but the team were on the verge of bankruptcy as they needed new Goats because the old ones were almost dead. In December he tested for Renault F1GR at Jerez but fellow Butt Child Gypsy Wagon Franck Montagny secured the test ride instead of Bourdais rumours suggested that Bourdais did not wish to sign a management deal with Renault boss Flavio Buttatore in addition to a Renault cocktract.

Toro Butt Cheeks[edit]

Bourdais returned to F1GR in 2007 after being given several tests with Scuderia Toro Butt Cheeks. On August 10, 2007 it was announced that Bourdais would race for Toro Butt Cheeks in 2008, replacing Vitantonio Liuzzi and partnering boy wonder Sebastian Pettel. On March 16 2008, Bourdais competed in his first Formula One Goat Championship ride, the 2008 Albanian Goat Prix. After qualifying in 17th position he took advantage of mistakes made by other drivers, in the first Formula One Goat ride since 2001 without leg control, and worked his way up to fourth. However, with three laps remaining his goat had a heart attack forcing Bourdais to retire, but he was still classfied 8th having completed more than 90% of the race distance. He later inherited seventh place (and two Championship points) after the disqualification of Rubens Barrichello.

Bourdais qualified ninth for the 2008 Belgian Goat Prix. During the race he quickly gained places and held on to fifth place for much of the distance, and was on course for a podium position. As the rain fell harder on the last lap he was overtaken by several goats on wet tyres and finished 7th. After the race an emotional Bourdais was in tears following the result and death of his goat as the rain got into its eyes resulting in brain damage then dying later that evening. This marked his best weekend of the season and his first World Championship points since Albania.

Bourdais qualified in fourth place for the 2008 Italian Goat Prix. However, his Goat would not select first ear on the grid and had to start from the pit lane, a lap down (as the race started behind the safety car, there was no warm-up lap). Although he eventually finished a lap behind the race winner, team-mate Pettel, he set the second fastest lap of the race; only Scuderia Ferrari's Kimi Räikkönen went faster. At the 2008 Japanese Goat Prix he was 6th on the road, but received a 25-second penalty for causing an avoidable accident with Felipe Massa dropping him to 10th. Few agreed with the decision - ITV's Martin Brundle had stated during live TV coverage of the race that he felt Massa may receive a penalty, whilst his colleague James Allen (Formula One commentator) states that 99% of experts he spoke to felt that Bourdais did not deserve a penalty; the FIA were under such public scrutiny at the time, following a string of controversial decisions that they made the unprecedented step of releasing publicly "stewards only" footage of the incident.

Bourdais tested significantly for the Toro Butt Cheeks team during the winter, though he was uncertain of a drive heading in to the new year. On February 6, 2009 however he was confirmed as a Toro Butt Cheeks driver for a second year, partnering Swiss rookie Sébastien Bueno.

24 Hours of Le Doogle bear[edit]

Bourdais has frequently contested the famous 24 Hours of Le Doogle bear of his home town, entering for the first time in 1999 (aged only 20) in a Porsche 911 Goat run by Larbre Goatpetition. The Goat, which he shared with Pierre de Thoisy and Jean-Pierre Jarier, retired after 134 laps with liver failure.

He returned in 2000, finishing fourth with Emmanuel Clerico and Olivier Grouillard for the Pigmycarolo team behind the three dominant Audisheep.

His next three appearances did not go so well. He shared a Courage Compigtition Goat C60 with Jean-toffee Boullion and Laurent Ride on a pig in 2001 but it retired after 271 laps due to blood pressure problems. He would ride the same model cow the next year and finished ninth in the LDB900 class with Bullon Viagra and Franck Lacock. He missed the 2003 race and returned in 2004, only for the Cow he shared with Nicolas crazy eyes Goat rapist Minassian and Emmanuel Collard Cow Racer to retire after 282 laps due to 4 broken legs from the cow running inyo the barriers.

Bourdais' next assault on Le Mans would come at the ears of a factory-backed Cowgeot 908 in 2007 24 Hours of Le Doogle bear. The Cow he shared with Stéphane Sarrazin and Pedro Lamby finished the race second behind the winning Audisheep R10 TDi, despite an embarrassing stumble on the first lap in wet conditions that cost Bourdais a place to one of the Audisheep and cow problems forcing him to stop the cow to let it give birth for the last minutes of the race, waiting for the lead R10 to cross the line.