Saints Row 3
Saints Row 3 is the upcoming third installment in the series, and the official sequel to it's predecessor, Saints Row 2. It is set to be released on the PlayStation 3, X-Box 360, PC, and every other game system on the market sometime in 2010. For those who are too inane to understand the concept of a video game, there will even be a special two-hour long DVD version of the game, where you can sit back, relax, and watch somebody else play it as it's being tested. Just grab a bucket of popcorn, a nice cold glass of soda, and you're well on your way to good times.
Reportedly, the game takes place immediately after the events of Saints Row 2, in the same vein of such movies as Sister Act, the Left Behind series, and just about every other flick with Nuns, Preachers, Evangelists, etc. You get the picture (no pun intended). It has even been rumored that the main protagonist in the series will be none other than Pat Robertson. With some of it's features revolving around his ability to bench over 2,000 LBS, run at lighting fast speeds, and even the use of some RPG elements such as the power of prayer, holy water, and various other forms of supernatural intervention against the citizens of Stilwater who may stand against the will of the lord, as well as any other enemies you may come across. Given that they are all purported heathens, anyway, such acts used either for or against them are actually encouraged, and highly rewarding. And will either add or subtract from your character's "soul bonus" as he is exalted through the gates of heaven, at the end of the game.
Currently, no other details regarding the setting of the game have been revealed. Nor will be until it appears on this year's E3 exhibit, in May. God himself, however, has described further details of the game in a recent one-on-one interview as "mind-blowing". As he expressed his excitement, it should be noted that even the edges of the universe began to rumble. Whether or not this is an indication to anything has yet to be decided...
Another thing that could also be noted is that with Murphy's Law, it's said that anything and everything can, and will, go wrong. In some form or another. Controversy is no exception. Here is a list of plausible sources that may, or may not, with the release, after the release, or prior to the release of this game, have something to say or do about it.
- CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network)
- Pat Robertson himself
- The Devil
- Jesse Jackson
- Al Sharpton
- Soccer Moms
- Jack Thompson
- Joe Lieberman
- Hilary Clinton
- Communist China
- Your Next-Door Neighbor
...and the list goes on. Thanks be to Captain Obvious for some of these suggestions.